www.LOVE.com

Rushing home from work Stella could barely turn the car off good before she opened the door to the Silver Buick Enclave.   The irritating chime indicated that she’d left the key in the ignition which cost her ten additional seconds as she pulled the silver prong out of the ignition and rushed into the dark house.  Not wanting to waste any time turning on lights Stella rushed into her bedroom and clicked on her laptop, letting the light from the screen illuminate her bedroom filing the walls with blue-green hints of color.  Pulling off her suit jacket and running her fingers through her long locks she sat on the kind sized bed as her computer booted up. As soon the laptop stopped making the buzzing and whirling sounds she signed into her Facebook account as: LadyGoDiving68.  

Ignoring the countless number of notifications and received messages on the page she looked just to see if there was a green dot beside the picture of the handsome salt and pepper haired man named William Thompson and to her delight William was online.  Stella never approached him first, that would make her seem to desperate and eager, instead she waiting for him to notice her and send his message first.

William: Good evening.

A smile ran from East to West on her plump face as she typed: Good evening, how are you?

William: My day has finally gotten better.

Still smiling she typed: Why is that?

William: Because I finally get to talk to you.

LadyGoDiving: Flattery doesn’t work on me William.

William: Who said that I was trying to flatter you?

LadyGoDiving: You are something else.

William: How was work?

LadyGoDiving: Tedious as usual.  How about yourself?

William:  Same here.  I thought about you all day today.  I thought about our conversations and how much I’d like to finally meet the lady behind the screen.

LadyGoDiving: Whatever happened to taking things slowly?

William: We have been taking it at a snail’s pace, but I’d like to kick it up to a turtle’s stroll if you don’t mind.

Stella kicked the brown pumps off of her swollen feet making a soft thud sound on the carpeting as she contemplated speeding things up with her computer romance.  While she liked William she was not ready to meet face-to-face and risk getting hurt once again.  At the same time, she didn’t want to risk going so slow that he’d eventually lose interest in her.

LadyGoDiving: What do you have in mind William? I am not ready to meet yet.

William: Have you ever heard of Skype?

LadyGoDiving: Vaguely.

William: Do you have a webcam Lady?

LadyGoDiving: Yes my laptop came with one built in.

William: I am sending you the link to Skype, get you an account and add me to your contact list so that we can chat via video and free up our hands. 

Stella clicked the link to Skype.com

William: Meet me online in an hour; I want you to wear something sexy and reveling.  I want to see you.

LadyGoDiving: I am not sure about this.

William: Lose your inhibitions Lady.  Remember when we were talking about your scuba diving trip and you told me that I had to lose all of my inhibitions and enjoy life for what it was? That is what I want you to do.  Stop being afraid of what you think I may or may not like, lose your inhibitions and just live.

LadyGoDiving: You are right.

William: One hour.

After his last sentence his green square turned to blue then his picture disappeared. 

With the advent of social networking sites such as Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and Adult Friend Finder people are finding it easier than ever to meet and interact with new people; however, many people are using their computer screens and screen names as a shield that protects them from the real world. 

I use social media sites every day.  I have met some interesting people online, I have met people that I talk to about my upcoming book, Skeletons, and I have met people who I talk to casually.  I have also been able to connect with friends and family members whom I haven’t seen in years!  Social networking sites are fantastic.  In Stella’s case, she is using social networking as a way of connecting to find love, but she is hiding behind her screen name to keep herself from being vulnerable. 

When I was growing up (in the 80’s and 90’s) we had the telephone chat lines to connect with people  that we didn’t know.  Telephone chat rooms were not only stupid, but they were also very expensive and a lot of teenagers got their telephone privileges taken away after their parents received the bill from Ma Bell.  Cellphones have replaced landlines, texting replaced talking and IMing has replaced getting out and meeting someone.  There is nothing wrong with getting on Facebook and meeting a cute guy, finding out that you have a lot in common and building a relationship.  

The main problem with finding love on the internet is determining rather or not this person is telling the truth.  So many people get online and misrepresent themselves either by falsely representing heir appearance, leaving out the fact that they are married with children or worse, denying that they may be on house arrest for some reason.  They lie and lead the person on the other end of the screen into a life of false hopes that are based upon deceit.  While many people are using the computer as a shield to protect their hearts from being broken, they are actually still at risk due to the unknown. 

Internet dating can be successful, but you just have to date smart just as you would with regular, old-fashioned dating.  I always suggest using a site such as eharmony or match.com rather than chat rooms because since chat rooms are free anyone can lurk there no matter what their motives maybe.  Sites such as eHaromny and Match are more likely to have people who are not only compatible with you but also since these are pay sites the dating pool are serious about finding love. A lot of my single friends are embarrassed about using a internet dating site and for the life of my I can’t understand why…if I were single I’d consider using one.  It takes the guess work out of it.  I am in my 30’s and the dating pool is shallow with most guys being married, seriously coupled up, openly gay or just down-right un-dateable so if I were looking for love I’d go to eHarmony.

Online dating is hard, but remember just like with regular dating you have to use your head, don’t use the computer as a way to shield yourself from being hurt and have fun I am sure that you will find love sooner rather than later.

TTFN!