Are You Lost In Someone Else's Reflection

In the movie Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert (played by Julia Roberts) and her beau David (James Franco) were leaving their friend's home when the friend David (Mike O'Malley) kind of chuckled and said, "You use to look like Stephen, but now you kind of look like David...you know how people start resembling their dogs..." 

I have watched this movie three times, not because it is such a great movie, but I love it because of the message that this movie conveys and this one line sticks out to me more than any other line in the entire movie.  

"You use to look like Steven, but now you kind of look like David..."

Why do I think this one line is so profound? I think that it is because in the movie Elizabeth has been trying to find herself, but she has been searching through  someone else.  I cringe when I hear the words You Complete Me only because if that person leaves you are you then left incomplete?  So many times we tend to search for ourselves through the person that we are with and my question is how is it possible to find your through someone else?  Are we conforming ourselves to be the perfect person for someone else? In other words are we so lost and confused in who we are that we just throw up our hands and say fuck it and take on the traits of another person? 

In my book Skeletons Santana is unhappy because she has been with the same person since she was in high school and she feels that her identity lyes within her marriage and that she is only her husband's last name.  How can I be happy when I am not me?  Who am I really?  What would happen if I stepped out on a limb, risking everything, to go on a journey to find myself?  

What Are We Afraid Of?

In the movie Elizabeth was an unhappy woman wearing the mask of pure bliss (as so many people do) until one day she threw up her hands and said, "fuck it" and walked away from not only her marriage, but also the comfort of her life traveling to Italy, India and finally Bali on a quest to find herself. She even told her ex-husband that he could have all of the money, she just wanted out.  Now I am not saying that we should go such extremes, but I'm asking the question what are we afraid of if we did step outside of the status quo and do what is in our heart would we finally find happiness within ourselves?  

If I said "being a wife and a mother isn't good for me and I am not happy" and took off on a journey to find my own happiness in life would I be looked upon in shame?  Or would I be celebrated as an inspiration to others?  Why is it more acceptable for a person to stay in a situation where they are unhappy?  

Follow Your Own Desires

I think that not only society, but also ourselves, put a lot of pressure on ourselves to just accept life as we know it and put on the mask of happiness while ignoring what longing is in our belly.  No matter if it is leaving your current mate, quitting your cushy corporate job to work for Green Peace or like myself choosing to be a stay-at-home mother while taking a risk and publishing a book.  Yes money is tight and the kids drive me insane, but I am finally happy because I am doing what I've been wanting to do for over 15 years.  What is so wrong with that? What would happen if you followed your own desires in life?  

Life For You & You Alone 

I have been married for 8 years and I don't live for my husband, I have six beautiful children but I don't live for them either, but I do live my life for me.  My husband doesn't complete me, but he enhances me and my life as do my children.  I don't need to be lost in someone else, I need to be lost in myself and while I am lost I am mapping out the journey to find happiness within myself so that I don't have to wear the mask of bliss.  

If you haven't seen the movie Eat Pray Love I suggest that you watch it and while you are watching it think about building your map to finding your own brand of happiness so that you can drop the mask along the way. 

TTFN!