The Reality of The Big Bodacious Booty

Some time ago I was talking with a friend, a friend whom I would consider to be very bottom heavy with a round ample booty, our conversation wandered to the topic of our assets or shall I say our asses.  She told me that I have a nice, unoffensive butt.  I was offended.  Okay, I know that I don't have the typical 'black girl' booty and I don't have a lot of junk in my trunk, but I am okay with that.  I am confident that I don't need a wide load to get through in life and I know that a big ass won't help me to succeed in getting sales for my book.
However, I am perplexed with the obsession that people have with women's asses.  I just don't get it at all.  I can see men being turned on by the size of a woman's breast because men don't have breasts, but everyone has an ass.  Some asses are just larger than other asses, but an ass is an ass and some men make them selves look like an ass when one walks by.  Look at the majority of the music videos that are on television, you rarely get to see the girls face because the camera instantly pans to her ass that she proudly pops, shakes, drops, wiggles to the beat of the music.  That is fine if that is how she chooses to make her money, however there is a different reality that I think about when I see women shake their ass for change.
Many people know who the video vixens with the big asses are, Keytoy Jackson, Buffie the Body and Melissa Ford are to name a few, but the first big booty lived a life much different than that of the video models of today live.  The vixen was taken from her home, put in shackles and put on display as a freak due to the size of her large ass and ample breasts.  This woman's name was Saartjie Baartman better known as the Hottentot Venus.

Hottentot Venus

Saarjite died at the age of twenty-six and her body was dismembered, her elongated vaginal lips were set in wax and put on display.  Her brain was removed,and it to was placed on display and her large buttocks was also placed on display just as she spent the last few years of her life, on display for all to see.   Saarjite was a Khosian woman from South Africa whose large buttocks was actually caused by steatopygia. She lived part of her life in Cape Town as a slave to Dutch farmers, but the slave masters promised her that she would become wealthy if she allowed them to take her to England and put on exhibition.  She agreed and left for London in 1810.  In England Saarjite was put on display as people from all over would come to see her large butt and in hopes to see the elongated labia minora (which she refused to allow people to see).  

Saarjite was displayed until people grew tired of the show and she ended up having to support herself by prostitution.  She died in 1815 at the young age of 26 and her genitalia were placed on display until 1974.  Saarjite did not live the life of your typical video vixen, but in her own right she was the original vixen, earning money for putting her body on display.  

I don't hate on girls with the big booty, hell it made Kim Kardashian popular, but I hate when they think that is all that they have to show.  I don't care about having a large ass, my ass is not what makes me, my mind makes me and that is what attracts people to me.  I know that as we age gravity tends to play a cruel trick on our bodies that it doesn't play with our minds.  Having a big booty is nothing new, people having been walking around with fat asses for centuries so in my mind it is silly to think that having one makes you a part of some sort of elite big booty club or something.  In my mind having a large ass with a tiny waist makes it a little harder to find jeans that fit and I'm sorry the new wide-leg Joe's Jeans don't come in Dunk.  

In conclusion, for all of the ladies with the junk in their trunk more power to you just don't let your booty be all that you are.  For all of my fellow pancakes, hold your heads up high and be happy that we can find jeans that fit us and don't have to worry about waking around with apple's on our ass cheeks !

TTFN!

You Saw Mommy & Daddy Doing WHAT?

Of all of the mistakes that I have made and will make as a parent, one of the most difficult to deal with lead me and my husband to having one of the most embarrassing moments of our adult lives.  Our six-year-old walked in on us bumping and grinding because one of us made the mistake of not double checking the lock on the door.  This isn't the first time it happened, a few years back my husband and I decided to get frisky while the kids were suppose to be outside playing, however my then 12 year-old daughter came back inside  unbeknownst to us and opened our CLOSED bedroom door only to find us in a peculiar situation.  Luckily those two incidents are the only ones that have happened, but that does not make it any better.

Don't get me wrong I am a bohemian chick in every way possible, but I am not so new age that I would ever consider having sex with the door open while our kids were at home.  No, I do not view sex and the nude body to be gross, but there are somethings that are crossing the line and having sex in front of the kiddos is one of them.

When the kids catch us in the act it is more embarrassing for the parents than it is for the kids and the older the child is the more traumatizing it is for us.  After our 12 year old walked in on us and we took a minute to compose ourselves we turned into the child remaining hidden in our room until she walked back outside.  My husband vowed not to touch me again until all of the kids were adults and moved out of the house.  I didn't take it to that extreme, but I did know that damage control needed to be done.  While my husband cowered in the bedroom not wanting to face her I took the brave road and talked to her about the incident while we made dinner.  While I geared myself up for the a long talk with her all she said was, "you guys should really get a lock on that door and that was gross." and that was it.  I was relieved that I didn't have to go through the whole "mommy and daddy loves one another and when two adults love one another they show that love by having sex." Nope, and we promptly took her suggestion of getting a lock installed on that bedroom door. 

When your kid walks in on you in the throes of passions there is no need to panic, but there is a need to act accordingly to your child's age.  Our one-year old sleeps in the same room with us, but we never get it on while she is standing up in her baby bed watching Yo Gabba Gabba; we wait until she is sound asleep or we take it to another room altogether.  However, it is important to teach your child that at a certain age (around three is when they have more understanding) they should not walking into mommy and daddy's room when the door is closed without knocking first.  Knocking on their parent's door shows the child to have respect for someone's privacy.  At three-eight most kids don't pay attention to the door being closed or they just forget, so use visuals such as a large STOP sign to let them know that when that sign is on the door they cannot walk into mommy and daddy's room.  A tween or a teen should already know not to walk into their parent's room when the door is closed. 

The child's age also determines how you deal with the after effects of them walking in on you getting it in.  For example, my three year-old wouldn't be as embarrassed by walking in on us as my eleven year-old. With that being said, I would tell my toddler to knock when our door is closed, but I'd tell my older child not only to knock on the door, but also let her know that sex is a natural part of an adult's life and that she should not be embarrassed or afraid of what she saw, but she should respect our privacy more by knocking on our door.  

In conclusion there is no need to walk around with a paper bag over your head if your kid catches you having sex, just keep things light-hearted and loving and gauge your actions by the child's age and reaction.  Oh and for heaven's sake invest in a lock!

TTFN

Open Relationships...Having Your Cake & Eating It Too

Jill Smith & Jada

Pink & Carey Hart

Monique & Stanley Hicks

Austin Kutcher & Demi Moore

What do these stars have in common? They have decided not forgo all of the stipulations of a traditional marriage and instead opt for a non-traditional open marriage.  What exactly is an open marriage you may ask well an open marriage is when a couple agree that they want to be together but romantic and sexual relationships with other people outside of their marriage are accepted and tolerated. Of course there are different variations of how open the open relationship can be for example:

• Only sex with another person is permissible, but you can't have an ongoing relationship outside of the marriage
• Only one-night stands are permissible
• The partner has to approve of the other woman/man that their mate is interested in
• The couple 'swing' and attend sex parties together
• The male is permitted to be open, but the female isn't (or vice versa)
• The couple share the same person as in a threesome
• The couple has an ongoing relationship with other people that doesn't affect the primary relationship

Why Would Anyone Agree To That? 

Agreeing to be in an open relationship takes a certain degree of guts that I am proud to say I do not have.  However, more and more people are becoming open to being open.  A lot of couples feel that a monogamous relationship causes more problems than an open relationship.  They feel as if the expectation of remaining faithful to one person for the rest of their lives is humanly impossible and instead of the lies and deception that can go on in a traditional relationship they opt for complete openness.  Another reason that a couple would agree upon an open relationship is if one person has a higher libido than the other so the person with the low sex drive grants their spouse the green light to find sexual satisfaction elsewhere while maintaining the relationship at home.   Maybe the couple has grown bored with one another and decided that they want to seek outside excitement while keeping the family unit intact.  

When The Milk Turns Sour 

Being in an open marriage has to be hard not only because of the scrutiny that a couple can receive from friends and family, but also what happens when it is no longer fun and trendy? When one partner wants to close relationship off to being just the two?  It is hard to change the dynamics once the contract has been signed without one person feeling resentful and the other feeling betrayed.  While most people think that they can have sex without emotional attachments we have to remember we are human not animals so emotional attachments are a possibility when we have sexual relationships outside of our marriage.  What happens when the open partner begins to close the other partner out?  What happens when the primary relationship begins to suffer from the openness of the relationship?  What if the other person becomes pregnant?  How does an open couple deal with jealousy in the marriage?

   

Is There A Such Thing As a Free Pass?

I wonder if my husband gave me a free pass, would I take it?  I know that I would never give my husband a free pass to be with other women. When I think of marriage I think of security however in an open relationship it may seem hard to feel secure when you know that your partner is with other people.  If my husband were to want a free pass I'd grant him a lifetime of free passes.  I am by far a traditional person, however I don't hand out free passes and I feel that if a person wanted to be with other people why enter into a marriage in the first place? I need the security of knowing that while my husband is attracted to other women I am the only person that he comes to at  night.  I think that in a lot of 'open' relationships one partner is more open than the other so instead of having the expectation that their spouse is going to be faithful they'd rather give them a free pass to soften the blow that they spouse has been unfaithful.

As I said before, being in an open relationship takes guts, but it also take a lot of respect, communication and trust.  However, I have to ask how much respect is it when my spouse is out with another woman? How much trust can I give him to know that he will not form an emotional attachment with another woman and further more how much is he really communicating with me about what he is up too.    I believe that people have the right be married in any way that they want as long as both parties agree upon the terms and conditions of the marriage.  An open relationship is something that I personally close the door on.

TTFN! 

The Dreaded Porn Stash

A few days ago while doing the laundry I decided to have a Super Wife moment and straighten out my husband's dresser drawers.  As I was emptying out his sock/t-shirt/lounge pants/underwear drawer I ran across a single pink DVD and I instantly knew what I'd found and it wasn't a hidden pirate's treasure! I'd lucked upon my husband's secret stash of porn and while this one DVD isn't exactly what I'd call a stash it was hidden therefore it counts.
I am not alone, many women all over the world happen upon their husband's porn stash that he'd carefully tucked away in a box in the back of a closet, on a high self that he thought that we couldn't reach, in their garages where we usually never go or even in the back room of a dark basement.  With unlimited internet access many men are hiding their porn in plain sight but rather than being put in closets and underneath beds porn is being hidden behind firewalls and security passwords, but  everything that is done in the dark comes to the light eventually.

A lot of women feel betrayed and turned off by the fact that they found their husband's erotic treasure trove and many women will even confront their men about their dirty little secret and demand that he come clean and throw it out or he will be the one sitting on the curb with last night's trash.

I didn't feel that way when I ran across my husband's DVD, instead I laughed it off, mumbling, "nasty boy." as I placed it back in it's original spot in his drawer.  I don't feel that my husband looking at an X-rated movie as a reason for him to feel ashamed and for me to feel angry.  I feel that way because I know that men are visual creatures who like watching the act of sex just as much as they like having sex themselves.  I also know that porn is a way for men to act out their own dirty little fantasies that you would not be willing to do with him (or that he is too ashamed to ask you to do).  So don't worry he doesn't want Sissy Spank-me to replace you in his life, but he does like the fact that she isn't ashamed of being his dirty little whore who willingly swallows and never spits.  

Also as sexual of a person that I am there are some nights that I just don't feel like fucking therefore my husband will turn to the little DVD in his drawer or on the laptop and have at it (after I am fast asleep of course).  After looking at porn men still find you as attractive as he did before he viewed porn and don't worry he doesn't want you to look like the porn star with the size forty-four double E boobs and the ass that could clap like a studio audience.  Instead he wants you to be you and to have the same confidence about you as the porn stars have about themselves. 

If you just have to let him know about his porn stash then let him know without making him feel ashamed.  Let him know that you don't disapprove of him watching porn, but you don't want him to keep secrets from you.  From time to time even pop on a flick while you are together to further let him know that you are not a porn prude.  

While I am fine with my guy's occasional porn habits, if there ever were a time that his porn viewing habits affected our relationship I'd have to let him know that it has to stop.  For example if my husband is stroking his laptop keys more than he was stroking me then we'd have an issue.  Also if he were to start comparing me to his on screen girls I'd have to cut his porn viewing off.   Lastly, if he decided to view pornographic material at work and it costs him his job I would have to intervene and get him some help.  

In conclusion, don't get your panties all in a bunch when you run across your guy's porn stash, just place it back and go on with your day; however, if your guys porn view habits start to take away from your relationship or you find child or gay pron then you may want to either call the authorities or talk to your mate about his pornographic addiction.   

TTFN!

Is There Love In The Club?

When someone says that they cannot find a good man or woman to date and make their mate, I often hear advisors tell them not to go looking for love in the clubs.  I hear them say to go to the church to find a mate or go to the grocery story, but whatever you do DO NOT GO TO THE CLUB sometimes they have that warning finger wagging back and forth.  

I don't get it though; why can't we find love in the club?  Usher said that it was possible so it must be true, right?  Having been married for the past eight years and a mom of a half-dozen I can honestly say that the nightclub scene isn't my thing anymore, not only do I not have the time, but I don't have the stamina that I use to have in my earlier years.  In my 20s I enjoyed my run with the club scene quite well; my girls and I would get all dolled up in the least amount of fabric legally possible for public and a lot of hair to hit the clubs Thursday through Sunday and we had fun.  

While I was not going to the club looking for love, I know quite a few people go to the club to find someone and to make a connection and at the same time several people go to the club to find someone to hook up with for the night.  

Motivation

If you are going to the club you have to ask yourself what is your motivation; is it to hook up or are you looking to find your husband or wife?  It is possible to find a life long connection in the club, but it is more likely that you will find someone who is willing to hook up with you for the night.  It is all about what you project.  For example if you are in the club drinking, half naked in your 'come fuck me dress' and are projecting that you want to hook up then more than likely you will not find your life long partner because people are not going to take you seriously.  However, if you are out and you've had a few drinks, but aren't sloppy drunk and you are dressed sexy showing a bit of skin here, a bit of skin there and a little more down there and you are sending out the vibe that you are there for a good time with the possibility of meeting someone then you have more of a chance of meeting someone who isn't looking for just a hook up. 

First of all people who go to the club aren't some human/club hybrid people; yet they are human just like you and I, but they are people who enjoy loud music, lousy over-priced drinks and don't mind getting their toes smashed all night long and some of them have one set of eyes, but they are still people.  Club dwellers usually have jobs in order to pay their entry into the club, some of them have style and put their pants on one leg at a time just like I do.  I don't understand the big deal, if you are at the club and they are at the club then hey, you both have something in common already.  As long as your motivation matches their motivation then it should be all good.   

Just like if you were going to church to find a mate, if that is your main reason for being at church and you meet a cutie who is saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost it won't work because your motivations do not match up.  On that same note if you both love the Lord and happen to meet at a church even then it will work because you share a similar interest and your motivations are the same.  

Love in the club is possible, you just have to be careful, don't be desperate and please just have fun no matter where you are and I'm sure that you will find the person of your dreams!

TTFN!

Has Hooking Up Replaced Dating?

Something odd has caught my attention amongst my single friends and that something is that they do not go out on an actual date instead they opt for hooking up.  It seems that this has been the trend for quite some time now and I don't think that this trend is one that was set due to the tough economic times that we are living in.  I think that this trend was set by women who signed a relationship contract without a dating clause attached to it.  

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I love going on dates with my husband; date night gives us something to look forward to during the week and it is a night that we can reconnect as a couple without the children.   I am a habitual dater.  Even if my husband and I weren't together I'd still want to go out on a date with a guy.  

One of the terms and conditions of my relationship contract states: I will set aside time of at least 3 times per month to take the above-mentioned girlfriend on an actual date.   I require a date night in fact I insist upon it in the very beginning. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the hook up, but if you consider yourself a boyfriend who has plans on sticking around (and if I want you to stick around) then you will have to sign the relationship contract (sorry) and take me out on a date.  

Since I've been married for damn near 10 years I don't have to worry about having someone sign the contract, but being married doesn't guarantee you a date either.  You have to open up your mouth and insist upon going out on a date with your husband.  Ladies, lets face it men are creatures of habit, they like to come home from work, grab a beer and plop their sweaty asses on the couch for hours. 

However, it is up to us to get them in the habit of taking us out on a date.  The date doesn't have to be the average dinner and a movie date but it doesn't have to be an expensive helicopter ride over the city either.  Mix it up and do something different such as a going to see a local live artist play at a lounge or go listen to some spoken word at a lyrical cafe.  Driving up to a local vineyard and having a wine tasting is always a fun idea for a date with your honey.  Re-live your teenage years by taking him/her skating or be adventurous and go for a round of paint ball to see who says ouch the loudest! Or if you can handle it surprise him with a trip to a strip club and buy him his favorite drink and a lap dance.  

No matter where you go, the point is to get up and go out with your mate.  Reconnect with him as if you were just meeting one another. If you are single then don't just settle for a hook up night after night (unless he is a friend with benefits), instead insist that he take you out on the town then hook up. Getting him in the habit of taking you out on dates from time-to-time will help keep that spark flickering between the two of you.  

TTFN!

Playing Games Can Leave You Feeling SORRY!

Monopoly
Scrabble
Clue
Battleship
Life
Yahtzee
Growing up I loved playing board games with my family and not that I am older I enjoy getting the kids together to play a game of Life or Monopoly from time to time.  Now the kids play Life, Scrabble and Monopoly online and adults they have their own form of game play.
It seems that in relationships people want to see how far they can push the other person until that person either gives in or gives up.  Instead of playing board games adults play a more dangerous type of game, they kinds that don't deal with fake money and plastic pieces, adults tend to play games of the heart.

It starts off with the Calling Game: You exchange numbers with the person and wait for the call and refuse to call that person as not to seem desperate; this ends up with both of you waiting on the other to call so no one ever calls.  Come on, get over yourself, pick up the phone and call.  Calling someone isn't an act of desperation, it is the act of showing interest.   The second type of calling game people play is when the person calls and you let the phone go to voice mail or they text and you don't text right back.  WTH!!! Again people get over yourself, if you are interested pick up the phone before they connect with someone else.

The second type of game that people can play in relationships is the game of Mouse Trap or Entrapment and this is a dangerous game.  In this game player #1 set in place a game of deceit and forgery to trap his/her mate which we will call player #2.  Player #1 will have a friend call or text #2 or meet player #2 at a club and chat him/her up laying heavy on the flirt until player #2 gives in then player #1 jumps out and says YAHTZEE or BINGO!  This game can also be played when player #1 uses a friend's Facebook/Myspace/Twitter account (or makes one up) to contact player #2 and entangle him/her in a web of lies to get player #2 interested.  Once player #2 has been enticed and if he/she takes the bait player #1 gets mad and suggests that player #2 was a cheater.   The problem with playing Mousetrap is that it may backfire on you and make you seem crazy for going through all of that trouble to see if your mate would cheat.  Furthermore, your mate may say that they can't be with someone who doesn't trust them and end the relationship anyway.  Do yourself a favor if you don't trust your mate look at the reasons why and try to communicate those feelings with your mate instead of dropping a basket on him.

The last game that I am going to look at is I Aint Gonna game.  In this game both partners are playing stubborn about an issue and in an attempt to keep the upper hand in the relationship neither will do what it takes to solve the problem.  For example, if your man doesn't do the dishes you withhold sex, food and other services from him instead of just asking him to do the dishes.  Another example is if your woman withholds sex then you withhold affection and/or you won't talk to her.  Now you have two people walking around the house mad at each other, but refusing to do what it takes to solve the issue!  

Rolling the dice in your relationship is not a good idea and someone will end up feeling Sorry in the end.  Instead of playing games with your partner's heart play games that will help build a lasting and loving relationship together and leave the games to Parker Brothers.

TTFN!

Blacks Don't Skateboard---WHAAAAT?

Today was the final day of school for Javier, Peaceful and Asa (Takeyha's last day was Monday) and I am happy to say that everyone has been promoted on to the next grade.  Now that summer vacation is in full effect we are scrambling to find something to keep the kids busy.  Peaceful is dying to join dance lessons, Javier is ready for summer camp and Asa just wants to hit the nearest skate park.
Asa is a typical 13 year-old who enjoys playing video games, hanging out with his friends, playing all types of sports, playing his guitar and he also likes to skateboard.  Asa, my nephew and their friends have been skateboarding for a few years now, with his first skateboard at the age of 10 and he is really good at it.  Recently I've noticed that he has not been wanting to ride his skateboard as much as he use to so I asked him and he said that he just didn't want to ride it any longer.  Strange, I thought because this boy lives on YouTube watching different skateboarding tricks and techniques and he watches the FUSE network all day long so I didn't understand why he all of a sudden stopped skateboarding.
Until I talked to the 17 year-old, Ta'Keyha, who informed me that the reason that he didn't want to ride any more was because someone told him that blacks don't skateboard and that he was trying to fit in with the white kids.

WHAT??

I get so tired of people saying what is white, what is black, what is Asian and what is Latino.  People are people, we don't act based on our skin color, we act based on how we were raised and the things that have influenced our lives thus far. We don't act a certain way based on the color of our skin.  Due to race-mixing and the such I really doubt that anyone is 100% anything these days!  My heritage is African-American, Caucasian and Asian, but by looking at me I am black.  Do I act black? I don't know, I act me because that is the only way that I know how to act.  When someone mimmicks the actions and cultural traditions of another race that isn't acting Asian, that is embracing the traditions and the culture of another race, but in essence the person is still who they are.
Skateboarding has been around for many years, I use to skateboard with my brothers and his friends many moons ago, but we didn't take it as seriously as the kids of today.   Thanks to the likes of Tony Hawk and Ryan Scheckler skateboarding has become a very popular past time for many kids and some adults with more and more skate parks popping up all over!  Thanks to Asa and my nephew I now know what DC, Flip, Element and Darkstar Skateboards are and I know the skateboarder lingo and even skater fashion!  I love the skateboarder lifestyle.

For someone to have told my son that skateboarding was a white-thing must have never heard of Terry Kennedy, Stevie Williams, Karl Watson, Lavar McBride or Alex Carolino who are all professional African American skateboarders.  Let's not forget about Lupe Fiasco and rapper/skateboarder Pharrell Williams are  also African-Americans who embrace the skateboard.
Blacks eat tomatoes, blacks enjoy mayonnaise, whites eat barbeque, whites enjoy watermelon, Asians like pork chops, Asians enjoy nightclubs and beleive it or not blacks skateboard.  Stop putting people in little stereotypical boxes based off of what you think that you know and just let people be who they are on the inside.

TTFN!

Menage a trois--and I'm Not Talking About The Wine

Menage a trois, known to some as a delicious wine that is comprised of a trio of grape combinations that challenge the tongue while offering a silky soft flavor that glides down the throat.

However, I'm not talking about wine.

The menage a trois that I am referring to is the the kind that combines three willing and able adults (the grapes are optional) in a tangle of arms, legs, fingers and tongues.
Two women on one dick is every man's desired fantasy and it seems that a lot of women are starting to open up to the idea of a menage a trios as well.  Having a menage a trois is fun and it pushes the sexual limitations of a couple; rather it is MFM or FMF having a threesome is the ultimate sexual experience for some and it opens doors that no one ever knew existed. However once you open that door it may be hard to shut it.

The problem with a menage a trois is that oftentimes the woman is doing this to satisfy her man's most carnal desire of having two women lusting after his dick; however, for a menage a trois to be successful a couple has to have three things:

Trust

Respect

A Paid Escort

If you already don't trust your mate a threesome should not be considered at all. If you don't trust your mate a threesome should not be considered at all.  I said it twice just in case you missed it.  Trust between a man and a woman is golden, but it is hard to come by so it would be disastrous to throw another man or woman into a rocky bedroom.  Before the menage you have to be able to trust that your partner isn't using this as a means to be unfaithful to you.  During the threesome you have to be able to trust that your partner is going to pay you as much attention as the new booty in the room.  After the threesome you have to be able to trust that your partner is not continuing the threesome (minus you) with the other person. If you feel that you can trust your mate then if a threesome is something that you both are considering I give you the green light. 

However, If one of you have a jealous streak there should not be a threesome.  Sex is an intimate time for a couple and if the thought of seeing your mate touch or make love to another makes you a green-eyed monster, please consider other sexual options.  So many relationships have ended because of a jealous partner during and after a threesome.  

Respect is another important issue to consider before you menage a trois.  Both partners have to respect one another, but also respect the third wheel.  You have to be respectful of the one that you are in a committed relationship with by not demeaning him/her during the threesome. With that being said, you cannot go on and on about how sexy the third party is or how much bigger his dick is or how much better the other person's pussy is.  That is a no-no.  It is disrespectful to push your partner out of the bed when the other person enters; paying equal attention to both parties is a way to have a successful threesome experience.  It is difficult because once you get going with one person and things start feeling good you don't want to break off to go to the other person, that is why you need to be a great multi-tasker in a threesome.  Guys aren't good a multi-taking so they may need some time to practice before they jump in bed with two women.  

You have to be respectful of the third person in the bedroom also.  Just because she/he is there for your sexual pleasure doesn't mean that you have the right to demean him/her and treat her unfairly. Treat the third person just as you would your partner to avoid any issues during your playtime and this may guarantee you a return visit.

The last thing that I feel is important is hiring a paid lady of the night to join in on your threesome.  Now keep in mind this is illegal in all U.S. states except Nevada so unless you find yourself in Vegas and want to try a threesome don't pay for sex.  In case you are in Nevada and you and your partner want to have a menage a trois go ahead and pay for someone who is a trained professional who doesn't want your man to join you.  A paid professional is someone that you can trust to have a threesome with because not only does she know exactly what she is doing, but she is also very well trained.  These women are paid to sell a fantasy and they do it well so why not complement your ultimate fantasy with someone who is paid just for that?  I don't suggest that you go to the street and find your nearest crack-whore, but visit a brothel (which are only legal in Nevada) and pay to play.  Unless you are on the Cathouse, your encounter with a professional woman will also be private and discreet.  Also a professional woman has other clients and is far too busy to go hunting your partner down after the encounter with her so you won't have to worry about her stealing your guy.  Remember this is a job for her and while she will do her best to make your fantasy come true, after she is done she clocks out and it is over.  

Many people mess up a threesome by allowing someone that they know to enter into their bedroom. That is a huge no-no. In my upcoming book, Skeletons, one of my characters finds that out the hard way.  When you invite someone that you know into your bedroom you risk that chance of them being uncomfortable to follow through with the act and if they do go through with it then you risk them telling everyone that you know about what happened that night also you run the risk of them hooking up with your partner after the encounter.  So if you are going to embark on a threesome I suggest using a paid professional (in Nevada) or someone that you don't know and will never see again. 

Adding a menage a trois to your bedroom playlist is exciting and every man's fantasy; however, things don't always go the way that they do in a porn movie.  Most homes don't come equipped with a lighting crew, hair and make up artists, a director and fluffers to make sure the guy dosen't "pop" too soon.  However, if you do want to embark on this journey please tread softly and do it right.  For me I think that I will have a menage a trois and this time I am talking about the wine.

TTFN!