You Saw Mommy & Daddy Doing WHAT?

Of all of the mistakes that I have made and will make as a parent, one of the most difficult to deal with lead me and my husband to having one of the most embarrassing moments of our adult lives.  Our six-year-old walked in on us bumping and grinding because one of us made the mistake of not double checking the lock on the door.  This isn't the first time it happened, a few years back my husband and I decided to get frisky while the kids were suppose to be outside playing, however my then 12 year-old daughter came back inside  unbeknownst to us and opened our CLOSED bedroom door only to find us in a peculiar situation.  Luckily those two incidents are the only ones that have happened, but that does not make it any better.

Don't get me wrong I am a bohemian chick in every way possible, but I am not so new age that I would ever consider having sex with the door open while our kids were at home.  No, I do not view sex and the nude body to be gross, but there are somethings that are crossing the line and having sex in front of the kiddos is one of them.

When the kids catch us in the act it is more embarrassing for the parents than it is for the kids and the older the child is the more traumatizing it is for us.  After our 12 year old walked in on us and we took a minute to compose ourselves we turned into the child remaining hidden in our room until she walked back outside.  My husband vowed not to touch me again until all of the kids were adults and moved out of the house.  I didn't take it to that extreme, but I did know that damage control needed to be done.  While my husband cowered in the bedroom not wanting to face her I took the brave road and talked to her about the incident while we made dinner.  While I geared myself up for the a long talk with her all she said was, "you guys should really get a lock on that door and that was gross." and that was it.  I was relieved that I didn't have to go through the whole "mommy and daddy loves one another and when two adults love one another they show that love by having sex." Nope, and we promptly took her suggestion of getting a lock installed on that bedroom door. 

When your kid walks in on you in the throes of passions there is no need to panic, but there is a need to act accordingly to your child's age.  Our one-year old sleeps in the same room with us, but we never get it on while she is standing up in her baby bed watching Yo Gabba Gabba; we wait until she is sound asleep or we take it to another room altogether.  However, it is important to teach your child that at a certain age (around three is when they have more understanding) they should not walking into mommy and daddy's room when the door is closed without knocking first.  Knocking on their parent's door shows the child to have respect for someone's privacy.  At three-eight most kids don't pay attention to the door being closed or they just forget, so use visuals such as a large STOP sign to let them know that when that sign is on the door they cannot walk into mommy and daddy's room.  A tween or a teen should already know not to walk into their parent's room when the door is closed. 

The child's age also determines how you deal with the after effects of them walking in on you getting it in.  For example, my three year-old wouldn't be as embarrassed by walking in on us as my eleven year-old. With that being said, I would tell my toddler to knock when our door is closed, but I'd tell my older child not only to knock on the door, but also let her know that sex is a natural part of an adult's life and that she should not be embarrassed or afraid of what she saw, but she should respect our privacy more by knocking on our door.  

In conclusion there is no need to walk around with a paper bag over your head if your kid catches you having sex, just keep things light-hearted and loving and gauge your actions by the child's age and reaction.  Oh and for heaven's sake invest in a lock!

TTFN