Catch Me If I Fall, But Don't Hold Me While I Lean : The Power of A Support System

Hello! Today is Skeletons' first birthday! I can't believe that it has been an entire year since I published my first book and I'm still excited about it! I want to thank each and everyone who took the time out of your busy day and took the chance on my first novel! Rather you loved it or hated it, it feels good being able to say that my book has been read by thousands of people all over America and even in Europe and Canada!
So take a moment and say a silent happy birthday to my very first baby today!

My husband and I spent our weekend shopping for my 18 year-old daughter, Ta'Keyha's last and my 15 year old son Asa's first Homecoming dance. The four little ones keep us so busy that we hardly get to spend any time with the first two alone so we took them shopping by themselves and I am proud to say that we actually had a great time. My teenagers are so funny and interesting that we really enjoy connecting with them without the interruptions that oftentimes come with children under the age of 13. It is hard giving each kid their own individual time since we have so many of them, but we do try to make things work the best that we can then at 9:00 it is my husband and my time to do our own thing then watch television together and reconnect as husband and wife.

Since today is the 1st birthday of Skeletons I think back to when I was writing it and publishing and I wouldn't have been able to get any of that done without my support system. That is what today's blog topic will focus on.

Catch Me If I Fall, But Don't Hold Me While I Lean 

In anything that we do in life we all need some type of support system. Rather it is writing a book, going back to school to get your degree, raising a family or simply getting through life. Without a trusted support system some of us wouldn't even be able to get out of bed in the morning. I pride myself on not having a ton of close friends in my life. Not because I am an anti-social person, but because I am confident that the few people that I put in my inner circle are not only there for a reason, but also because I value them and trust them with the most private details of my life. 

A support system can be anyone from your parents to your best friend to your spouse or even your neighbor who watches the kids while you stay up late typing that ten page paper that you've been putting off for one day too long. A support system can be any where from one person to twenty people that you trust because the main job of a support system is that you can count on them. 

I remember when I started writing Skeletons, my husband would get off of work and take the kids to the park so that I could have an hour or two to myself to be able to write without interruptions. Since Januari was still a baby when I was writing my book my mother and father and law would step in and take the baby for me while I worked. My little sister would allow Javier and Boston to come to her house to play with her son, Kamron. My friends Janita, Jillian, Chevon, Rachel and Artura supported me by being there to listen to me go on and on about the process of writing and publishing a book and sometimes they would give me good advice. 

I love my support system! 

While I cherish my support system with all of my heart, I have to remember that they are there to support me, but they are not there to be a crutch for me. Sometimes when a person knows that they have a great support system they begin to take advantage of that support and instead of catching them if and when they fall they begin to use the support system to hold them up while they lean. 

And lean. 

And lean. 

And lean

Pretty soon the support system is no longer there for support, but they are there to coddle and pacify the leaner instead of pushing the leaner back up they allow them to just lean. See a support system exists to help you grow, but if they are only holding you up while you stay stagnant then what is the point? 

Lean on me when you're not strong

I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

That I'm going to need somebody to lean on

The Bill Withers song about friendship isn't about carrying your friend, but it is about helping your friend to carry on. He said lean on me when you're not strong not lean on me when you are able. He said I'll help you carry on not I'll help you make excuses for not carrying on. 

 Lets face it we need a support system just to make it through the regular stuff of the day let alone to be able to follow our dreams. 

There are wives out there who do not have the support of their husbands while they follow their dreams. There are children out there who do not have the support of their parents while they try out for the basketball team. There are men who do not have the support of their women while they go to work then come home to take online courses to earn their degree.

Remember, if you have a support system consider yourself lucky, but don't use your support as a crutch to be able to just lean because soon your support might just walk away you then you may fall. 

TTYL