Relationship Demotion: Climbing Down The Love Ladder

De-mo'tion 

To Lower in rank, grade or status

Being demoted at work is not only a humiliating experience, but it can also mean taking a lower compensation rate and also diminished job responsibilities. When you are demoted you are left in a lower position at work that is not as cushy as you had before. 

But, did you know that being you can also be demoted in your relationship too? Just like you can move backwards on the corporate ladder, you can also move down on the relationship ladder. 

In the corporate world you have the President, the Vice President, Managers, Supervisors, Team Leads then hourly employees, relationships also have a hierarchy. 

In the relationship hierarchy the top spot is taken by the head honcho, the person that most people strive to be and that spot is the wife or husband. In this spot you walk into the room with a certain air about yourself. You hold your head up high and poke your chest out a little because you know that you were chosen above all to share not only a bed with this person, but also a life. This spot is on the top rung of the relationship ladder as it should be because you have endured the most and you have moved all of the way up to sit up on your throne with a Coke and a smile. 

Next you have the girlfriend/boyfriend or what adults like to call 'my man' or 'my woman'. In this position you have not earned all of the perks that the spouse has, but you have earned a great deal of them. For some being the man or woman for many years is fine, but for most they want to be promoted to the top rung of the ladder.

Then you have the jump off or what I like to call the fun time girl/guy. This is the person that you have a great time with and who could be your man or woman, but you are not completely sold on this person yet so you just call them to have a great time. The jump off usually is the one that you call to meet you and a few friends at a local club or bar to have a great time which usually ends up in bed. 

The Next rung on the relationship ladder is the booty call. The booty call is much like the jump off except for the fact that the booty call is not someone that you would necessarily go out with. A booty call is just that  you call them for some ass then send them on their way. The booty call on the last rung of the ladder and no one plans on being on this rung for longer than a few weeks. If you find yourself on this ladder for longer than a month you really need to do some reevaluation on this relationship because it just does not seem to be working out for you. 

Now that you know the relationship hierarchy now it is time to talk about when you find yourself demoted. It happens all of the time, one day you are the jump off meeting up at all of the hot spots and just having a fantastic time then the next thing you know BOOM  you are on the bottom of the totem pole to only getting called for sex.

How did this happen?

What did I do?

Just like being demoted at work can be foreseen by you not getting called on in meetings because your opinion is not valued or being passed up for special assignments because your manager does not think that you can handle it when you are headed for relationship demotion there are signs that it is about to happen.  If you are the girlfriend and you find out that he didn't invite you to the annual family Christmas dinner that you normally attend that is a sign that you are headed for a trip down the relationship ladder. As the jump off and instead of getting calls to go out to kick it you get calls just to hook up is a sign that you have landed on the dreaded booty call rung of the relationship ladder.  

Why? Maybe you didn't laugh at the right joke at the right time. Maybe you didn't call when you said that you would. Maybe your bra and panties didn't match your toenail polish! Maybe he/she got scared of where the relationship was going and decided to back off. Maybe he/she knew that the relationship was not going anywhere and decided to help it along. Who knows why we get demoted in relationships. Does it really even matter why you ended up there, but are you willing to accept your new position, are you going to fight to maintain your old position or do you want to move up the ladder? That is basically up to you, how much and how long you are willing to endure. 

Now that you have been demoted and you have to walk the walk of shame to your car at three o'clock in the morning from that cozy spot in her arms that you used to lay your head until the sun came up you realize that just like in the corporate world in relationships you still have time to pick up the pieces and find a position in a company that values your talents and won't force you to take a demotion. 

Going from the girlfriend to the booty call happens.

Going form the husband to the jump off happens.

Shit happens. 

TTYL