BEWARE: The Serial Single Guy, You May Be His Next Victim!

Hi, I know that it has been a while, but I've been busy with getting Skeleton's formatted, covered and ready for print that I had to take a mini vacation to Chicago just to take a slight break.  Now that I am back and feeling relaxed and refreshed I am ready to get back into the swing of things.

While riding in the car with one of my closest 40-something male friends he was telling me about why this girl was not right for him, but neither was that girl, or the last five women that he has dated.  I quickly diagnosed the signs of a serial single.  The serial single guy is the guy who, like my friend, is between the age of 30-50, who either lives alone (because at this age most guy are married or living with someone) or in his parent's basement and the serial single guy has had a string of relationships but none of them were 'right' for him.  No matter how good a woman may be for the serial single guy he will find a reason why she isn't the one no matter how absurd the reason may be.

"Her hair was too long"
"Her nose was too pointy"
"She didn't like poetry"
"I don't like her dog"

"She smelled too good"

"Her   eyes are too blue"

"She has never been to Canada"

You get my point; no matter the reason the serial single guy will find any excuse to remain single.   He might be totally into you, but he will find things about you that he doesn't like or he will sabotage the relationship so that you will break things off with him. Keep in mind that the serial single guy will put up the front that he wants to find someone and settle down, but he just has not found 'the one yet'.  He has to keep this front up in order to secure his spot in various female's lives, why else would a woman date a man who has no intentions of settling down? Dating a serial single is like dating a serial killer, you hope that he will change, but without help he won't. 

Why would a man choose to sleep alone for the rest of his life?  Well, first there are grown men who are still afraid of commitment, but I also think that the serial single guy is afraid not only of being in a committed relationship that has expectations and responsibility, but also he is afraid of being hurt.  Men respond to emotional pain differently than women; when women get hurt in a relationship we allow ourselves to feel that pain and with the help of a few close girlfriends, a couple shots of tequila and a pint of Cherry Garcia Ice Cream we deal with it and eventually go on to love again.  Men on the other hand when they get their hearts broken they shut down and many of them will never give their heart to another woman again.  

A woman who has suffered a blow to her heart will heal through accepting her feelings and talking about it; however, men are not as open to communicating their emotional feelings as well as women, they lock those feelings up and some of them become jaded at the thought of being in love and will never let themselves fall that hard again.  

Don't get me wrong, most men will go on to give their heart to another, but it won't be as wholeheartedly as it was the first time around because that pain has not been dealt with therefore it is still there and since he is afraid of feeling that way again he won't fall as hard the next time around.  Ask any man how many times he has been deeply in love and I almost guarantee that most of them will say once maybe even twice, but ask a woman and her number will be well over that of a man. 

What should a woman do if she finds herself dating a serial single man? Should she run and hide or should she stick around and hope that she will be the woman to change him into Mr. Relationship?  Well that all depends upon the tolerance level of the woman as well as if she has the time to stick around and wait on him to come around (which there is no guarantee that he ever will).  If you find yourself taking a hot shower and you see the silhouette of the serial single guy through the shower curtain, don't run away in fear, instead let him know up front what it is that you expect from the relationship and ask that he do the same. If he is open and honest with you and says that he isn't looking for a relationship, you cannot get mad, but know your position in his life and act accordingly.  You can't treat a serial single man as you would a man who is at least open to the idea of being in a long-term relationship with you so save the candle lit dinners and trips to Cabo to the men who have relationship potential. 

I suggest that you do this after three or four dates that way you have felt him out and know that he could be someone that you want in your life long-term and this is before any real feelings have developed so your heart won't be broken if he says that he isn't in it for the long run.  

The serial single man can be a lot of fun to hang out with and to keep around for a roll in the hay every once in the while, but ladies please don't get your hopes up when dealing with one of these men or you may find your self another victim of the serial single's rampage!

TTFN!!!