Are You The Old Person In The Club? Time To Hang Up Your Disco Shoes!

Okay, it was my husband's 30th birthday so my sister, her husband and I decided to hang up our mommy and daddy hats and lace up our dancing shoes for a wild night out on the town to celebrate my honey turning 30!  I remember my sister and I hitting up the club scene every day but Sunday when I was in my 20s, but all of that changed when children and responsibilities were the things to keep us up at night instead of the bright lights and loud music of the nightlife.
When I use to go out we called our friends to see if they would join, but now my husband and I called a babysitter to see if she was available!  Instead of the hot pink crochet top (that I had to adjust to hide my nipples) that stopped right above my navel and left my back completely bare with a pair of skin tight jeans and a pair of the higest stiletto heels that I could find; now I wore a pair of white linen trousers with a green silk top and a pair of flats.  Back then we gladly paid the $3 cover to get into the club, but now we frowned at the $10 cover that we were being charged saying "hell I could have put that in the gas tank!"  I remember bullying my way onto the crowded dance floor as soon as we stepped into the club, but now all four of us 30-somethings went to the bar huddled together watching the dance floor from a distance.
It was not the fact that we were most likely the oldest people in the club, it was not the fact that my husband was tired and ready to go home at midnight and complaining that we missed an episode of Real Time with Bill Mauer, it was not even the fact that my sister was pissed that the bartender charged her $11 for a martini, but it was the fact that a girl bumped into me and said the dreaded words, "excuse me ma'am."

I am only 34 years old and by any means am I anyone's ma'am! With that one comment she let me know that we were the old people in the club...eek.

I was ready to go.
It hurt, but the salt on our wound came when we handed the valet our ticket and he pulled our bright red Dodge Caravan in front of all of the coupes and sedans and we did the walk of shame getting into our van, but when I opened our door a sippy cup rolled out...I was to ashamed to pick it up and throw it back in.


I can remember going out and seeing the older gentleman sitting on a bar stool, drinking a Tom Collins, wearing the poly-blend shirt with the outdated print and black slacks.  He never gets up because his feet hurt from standing all day at work, he never dances because he has a bad back...he only watches.  Why does he watch, well most likely the same reason that we watched the 20 something crowd bump and grind on the dance floor that night, because we didn't know the songs, we didn't know the dance moves and we were tired from our busy day.  

Back in my hay day I knew how to boogie on the dance floor and I'd bump and grind on who ever was standing next to me, but now that I am older I still dance (in my living room) and I like some club tunes (from the 90s), but I don't want any one other than my husband grinding on me.
Being the old person in the club has to suck, but there is a cure for it....stop going to clubs trying to party with the 20 something crowd!  Find a club or a lounge that is fit for your own age group to ensure that you don't look as lost as we did and not be the oldest person in the club.  Look, I have nothing against people going out and having a good time at the club, but come on 30 and 40 somethings if you think that you have something in common with those kids on the dance floor then you are delusional.  If you actually do have something in common with them then maybe you need to check your maturity level while you are checking your bags at the door.  It is time to come to the reality that we are getting to old to look forward to the club scene and leave that to the younger crowd.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe older people should be kicking it at the club, but I have six children, I have a book that I'm publishing, my husband has a full time job and household responsibilities to keep up with and we have lots of TV to watch and missed sleep to catch up on so we don't have time to hang out at the club.  So if you are in your 30s, 40's, 50's or even 60's for that matter and find it enduring to hang out at the night clubs then by all means do what you do, but please learn the latest dance moves and the current hits before you are the old man on the dance floor doing the cabbage patch!

TTFN!