Menage a trois--and I'm Not Talking About The Wine

Menage a trois, known to some as a delicious wine that is comprised of a trio of grape combinations that challenge the tongue while offering a silky soft flavor that glides down the throat.

However, I'm not talking about wine.

The menage a trois that I am referring to is the the kind that combines three willing and able adults (the grapes are optional) in a tangle of arms, legs, fingers and tongues.
Two women on one dick is every man's desired fantasy and it seems that a lot of women are starting to open up to the idea of a menage a trios as well.  Having a menage a trois is fun and it pushes the sexual limitations of a couple; rather it is MFM or FMF having a threesome is the ultimate sexual experience for some and it opens doors that no one ever knew existed. However once you open that door it may be hard to shut it.

The problem with a menage a trois is that oftentimes the woman is doing this to satisfy her man's most carnal desire of having two women lusting after his dick; however, for a menage a trois to be successful a couple has to have three things:

Trust

Respect

A Paid Escort

If you already don't trust your mate a threesome should not be considered at all. If you don't trust your mate a threesome should not be considered at all.  I said it twice just in case you missed it.  Trust between a man and a woman is golden, but it is hard to come by so it would be disastrous to throw another man or woman into a rocky bedroom.  Before the menage you have to be able to trust that your partner isn't using this as a means to be unfaithful to you.  During the threesome you have to be able to trust that your partner is going to pay you as much attention as the new booty in the room.  After the threesome you have to be able to trust that your partner is not continuing the threesome (minus you) with the other person. If you feel that you can trust your mate then if a threesome is something that you both are considering I give you the green light. 

However, If one of you have a jealous streak there should not be a threesome.  Sex is an intimate time for a couple and if the thought of seeing your mate touch or make love to another makes you a green-eyed monster, please consider other sexual options.  So many relationships have ended because of a jealous partner during and after a threesome.  

Respect is another important issue to consider before you menage a trois.  Both partners have to respect one another, but also respect the third wheel.  You have to be respectful of the one that you are in a committed relationship with by not demeaning him/her during the threesome. With that being said, you cannot go on and on about how sexy the third party is or how much bigger his dick is or how much better the other person's pussy is.  That is a no-no.  It is disrespectful to push your partner out of the bed when the other person enters; paying equal attention to both parties is a way to have a successful threesome experience.  It is difficult because once you get going with one person and things start feeling good you don't want to break off to go to the other person, that is why you need to be a great multi-tasker in a threesome.  Guys aren't good a multi-taking so they may need some time to practice before they jump in bed with two women.  

You have to be respectful of the third person in the bedroom also.  Just because she/he is there for your sexual pleasure doesn't mean that you have the right to demean him/her and treat her unfairly. Treat the third person just as you would your partner to avoid any issues during your playtime and this may guarantee you a return visit.

The last thing that I feel is important is hiring a paid lady of the night to join in on your threesome.  Now keep in mind this is illegal in all U.S. states except Nevada so unless you find yourself in Vegas and want to try a threesome don't pay for sex.  In case you are in Nevada and you and your partner want to have a menage a trois go ahead and pay for someone who is a trained professional who doesn't want your man to join you.  A paid professional is someone that you can trust to have a threesome with because not only does she know exactly what she is doing, but she is also very well trained.  These women are paid to sell a fantasy and they do it well so why not complement your ultimate fantasy with someone who is paid just for that?  I don't suggest that you go to the street and find your nearest crack-whore, but visit a brothel (which are only legal in Nevada) and pay to play.  Unless you are on the Cathouse, your encounter with a professional woman will also be private and discreet.  Also a professional woman has other clients and is far too busy to go hunting your partner down after the encounter with her so you won't have to worry about her stealing your guy.  Remember this is a job for her and while she will do her best to make your fantasy come true, after she is done she clocks out and it is over.  

Many people mess up a threesome by allowing someone that they know to enter into their bedroom. That is a huge no-no. In my upcoming book, Skeletons, one of my characters finds that out the hard way.  When you invite someone that you know into your bedroom you risk that chance of them being uncomfortable to follow through with the act and if they do go through with it then you risk them telling everyone that you know about what happened that night also you run the risk of them hooking up with your partner after the encounter.  So if you are going to embark on a threesome I suggest using a paid professional (in Nevada) or someone that you don't know and will never see again. 

Adding a menage a trois to your bedroom playlist is exciting and every man's fantasy; however, things don't always go the way that they do in a porn movie.  Most homes don't come equipped with a lighting crew, hair and make up artists, a director and fluffers to make sure the guy dosen't "pop" too soon.  However, if you do want to embark on this journey please tread softly and do it right.  For me I think that I will have a menage a trois and this time I am talking about the wine.

TTFN!

www.LOVE.com

Rushing home from work Stella could barely turn the car off good before she opened the door to the Silver Buick Enclave.   The irritating chime indicated that she’d left the key in the ignition which cost her ten additional seconds as she pulled the silver prong out of the ignition and rushed into the dark house.  Not wanting to waste any time turning on lights Stella rushed into her bedroom and clicked on her laptop, letting the light from the screen illuminate her bedroom filing the walls with blue-green hints of color.  Pulling off her suit jacket and running her fingers through her long locks she sat on the kind sized bed as her computer booted up. As soon the laptop stopped making the buzzing and whirling sounds she signed into her Facebook account as: LadyGoDiving68.  

Ignoring the countless number of notifications and received messages on the page she looked just to see if there was a green dot beside the picture of the handsome salt and pepper haired man named William Thompson and to her delight William was online.  Stella never approached him first, that would make her seem to desperate and eager, instead she waiting for him to notice her and send his message first.

William: Good evening.

A smile ran from East to West on her plump face as she typed: Good evening, how are you?

William: My day has finally gotten better.

Still smiling she typed: Why is that?

William: Because I finally get to talk to you.

LadyGoDiving: Flattery doesn’t work on me William.

William: Who said that I was trying to flatter you?

LadyGoDiving: You are something else.

William: How was work?

LadyGoDiving: Tedious as usual.  How about yourself?

William:  Same here.  I thought about you all day today.  I thought about our conversations and how much I’d like to finally meet the lady behind the screen.

LadyGoDiving: Whatever happened to taking things slowly?

William: We have been taking it at a snail’s pace, but I’d like to kick it up to a turtle’s stroll if you don’t mind.

Stella kicked the brown pumps off of her swollen feet making a soft thud sound on the carpeting as she contemplated speeding things up with her computer romance.  While she liked William she was not ready to meet face-to-face and risk getting hurt once again.  At the same time, she didn’t want to risk going so slow that he’d eventually lose interest in her.

LadyGoDiving: What do you have in mind William? I am not ready to meet yet.

William: Have you ever heard of Skype?

LadyGoDiving: Vaguely.

William: Do you have a webcam Lady?

LadyGoDiving: Yes my laptop came with one built in.

William: I am sending you the link to Skype, get you an account and add me to your contact list so that we can chat via video and free up our hands. 

Stella clicked the link to Skype.com

William: Meet me online in an hour; I want you to wear something sexy and reveling.  I want to see you.

LadyGoDiving: I am not sure about this.

William: Lose your inhibitions Lady.  Remember when we were talking about your scuba diving trip and you told me that I had to lose all of my inhibitions and enjoy life for what it was? That is what I want you to do.  Stop being afraid of what you think I may or may not like, lose your inhibitions and just live.

LadyGoDiving: You are right.

William: One hour.

After his last sentence his green square turned to blue then his picture disappeared. 

With the advent of social networking sites such as Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and Adult Friend Finder people are finding it easier than ever to meet and interact with new people; however, many people are using their computer screens and screen names as a shield that protects them from the real world. 

I use social media sites every day.  I have met some interesting people online, I have met people that I talk to about my upcoming book, Skeletons, and I have met people who I talk to casually.  I have also been able to connect with friends and family members whom I haven’t seen in years!  Social networking sites are fantastic.  In Stella’s case, she is using social networking as a way of connecting to find love, but she is hiding behind her screen name to keep herself from being vulnerable. 

When I was growing up (in the 80’s and 90’s) we had the telephone chat lines to connect with people  that we didn’t know.  Telephone chat rooms were not only stupid, but they were also very expensive and a lot of teenagers got their telephone privileges taken away after their parents received the bill from Ma Bell.  Cellphones have replaced landlines, texting replaced talking and IMing has replaced getting out and meeting someone.  There is nothing wrong with getting on Facebook and meeting a cute guy, finding out that you have a lot in common and building a relationship.  

The main problem with finding love on the internet is determining rather or not this person is telling the truth.  So many people get online and misrepresent themselves either by falsely representing heir appearance, leaving out the fact that they are married with children or worse, denying that they may be on house arrest for some reason.  They lie and lead the person on the other end of the screen into a life of false hopes that are based upon deceit.  While many people are using the computer as a shield to protect their hearts from being broken, they are actually still at risk due to the unknown. 

Internet dating can be successful, but you just have to date smart just as you would with regular, old-fashioned dating.  I always suggest using a site such as eharmony or match.com rather than chat rooms because since chat rooms are free anyone can lurk there no matter what their motives maybe.  Sites such as eHaromny and Match are more likely to have people who are not only compatible with you but also since these are pay sites the dating pool are serious about finding love. A lot of my single friends are embarrassed about using a internet dating site and for the life of my I can’t understand why…if I were single I’d consider using one.  It takes the guess work out of it.  I am in my 30’s and the dating pool is shallow with most guys being married, seriously coupled up, openly gay or just down-right un-dateable so if I were looking for love I’d go to eHarmony.

Online dating is hard, but remember just like with regular dating you have to use your head, don’t use the computer as a way to shield yourself from being hurt and have fun I am sure that you will find love sooner rather than later.

TTFN!

The Forgotten Art of The Booty Call

Rather you call it friends with benefits, a hook up, a fuck mate or your cuddy buddy it all means the same thing, a casual sex relationship.  While this can be fun and rewarding, it is also a delicate relationship that has to be handled with care to avoid emotional attachments that could eventually lead to hurt feelings.   If you are single, but still want the sexual benefits of a relationship without the commitment of the relationship then a booty call may be right for you.  Some people may blush at the mere thought of having a relationship with someone that is based purely on sex, but if both parties are willing and able I say why in the hell not.  Just make sure that you set the ground rules first.

The Rules of The Booty Call

Both Parties Must be Single

No Emotional Discussions

Avoid The L-Word Like the Plague

Do Not Go Out In Public

Avoid Calling, "Just to Talk"

Always Wear Protection

Avoid Spending The Night

Do Not Let Jealously Ruin Your Fun

If both parties can agree and abide by these simple rules things will go smoothly and you will live happily ever after in cuddy buddy heaven.  Or will you? 

We Are Only Human

As much as we would like to think we can separate our emotional feelings from sex, we are human and a huge part of our sexual compatibility is emotional; even for men.   I am not talking about a one-nighter where you meet someone at a bar, hook up and never see or hear from this person again.  No, I am talking about a friend with benefits which is someone that you have an ongoing sexual relationship with.  Besides the obvious reason of having great sex, there is something that keeps going back for more.  Maybe you like spending time with this person, but you don't want the confines, responsibility or expectations of being in a relationship.  Maybe you want an actual relationship with this person, but you are to chicken shit to admit it so you settle for being this person's toy for the time being. Whatever the case may be if you have an on-going sexual relationship with someone that has lasted over the span of months or in some cases years, there is a reason behind this and it isn't just for the sex!  

The Blacklash of The Booty Call

One reason that I call this post the Forgotten Art of The Booty Call is that people tend to forget what they signed up for when dealing with someone just for sex.  People tend to forget that we are human and as human we want and need to be wanted and needed.  We want to be touched, kissed, held, talked to, taken out on dates and ultimately loved.  It is an art for someone to be able to casually hook up with someone for an extended period of time without any emotional ties to that person, thus this art is forgotten.  

When you are with this person for a 'hook-up' and he/she leaves after the deed is done, leaving you  wanting more; is that something that you can tolerate?  If you do develop feelings for the person, express them and find out that those feelings aren't shared, the friendship and hook up is damaged because things have become too complicated. Finding out that your friend has been friending other people is another backlash of the booty call.  Remember, jealously is not part of the cuddy budy pact so deal with it. 

If you see this person on an actual date with someone else, you cant get mad  remember discretion is part of the agreement in a booty call relationship; therefore, you have agreed to remain silent in the background like an extra in a movie.  Is that something that you could handle?   If your booty call decides that they no longer want the hook up , they just stop calling you and won't answer your calls then you find out that they now have a mate that is just part of the deal.  You have no choice but to accept it.  Because you were just a 'friend'.

A booty call is not as simple as one may think because while this person is not your mate you are giving him/her a huge part of your life and that should be important to you just as it should be to them.  Now, I have had casual sex relationships and they were great, but you have to know when and how to terminate things so that you two remain on good terms without any hurt feelings.  This is the forgotten art of the booty call and if you can handle it remember to handle it carefully.

TTFN!