The Talk

Hello everyone, I’m going to be honest with you, working on Couple’s Therapy has been almost a two year process and while I had plenty of ups and downs with this book I am proud mother of my third book.

I got my inspiration for Couple’s Therapy from my own experience of going through marriage counseling with my supportive and loving husband, Kerri. We have been married for almost eleven years and I would be less than honest in saying that we have the perfect marriage because we don’t. Kerri and I married young, we have a large family and we are two very strong-minded individuals who don’t always see eye-to-eye. He and I sought therapy because we were having a serious issue communicating with one another on top of the fact that we went through a very stressful time after the birth of our sixth child, Januari. Therapy gave us the tools that we needed to communicate with one another rather than at one another and ultimately helped us overcome our issues. Even though Kerri and I are in a much better place in our marriage, we wouldn't hesitate to go back to therapy if the water turned murky.

Speaking of professional help we thought that we were going to need it when we had to have the dreaded talk with our fourteen-year-old daughter recently. Now don’t get me wrong, we have had the talk with our now nineteen-year-old and our now sixteen-year-old, but I cannot stress to parents the importance of treating your children as individuals and approaching them in ways that are suited for them. The approach that we used with our two older children would not have worked for our fourteen year old daughter because she is a totally different type of kid.

Peaceful is a very bright and brilliant young girl who is the epitome of a Disney kid. She has a personality that lights up a room and trust me once people meet her she is hard to forget. My great-grandmother was in her late 90’s before she passed and when I came to visit her she asked about Peaceful. Not many kids get the opportunity to meet their great-great-grandmother, but not only did PJ get to meet Grandma, but she was also the only one out of six of my children that she remembered!

Now that PJ is headed to high school in August and we've noticed a few not so subtle changes that have been occurring. First, this tall kid walked into my bedroom and began to talk and all that I noticed were legs that seemed to go on for miles then I noticed that she has hips, a definite waist line and BOOBS! My Disney baby now has a body! While I noticed the changes in her body my husband saw that she has begun to take an interest in boys and have even caught her chatting and texting a few boys from time-to-time. With our new findings we decided that it was time to have the talk with our sweetheart.

We consider ourselves experts being that we have been on the emotional roller coaster of raising a teenager a few times and have had the talk with our other kids, but then again our two older kids aren't as quirky as the fourteen-year-old so this talk was somewhat challenging and we were prepared.

The thing to remember when discussing sex with your teenagers is that you have to be comfortable and honest. The worse thing that a parent can do when discussing sex with their kids is simply telling them not to have sex. Trust me parents that does NOT work. . My parents told me not to do it, I did it and I have a nineteen-year-old to prove that simply telling your kid not to have sex does not work. We all know that when a child hears the word no they are more drawn to what it is they are being told not to do.  

Also, parents try not to make a big to-do about the talk. It is just sex; you aren't giving them the nuclear launch codes.  I have a friend who found a condom in her sixteen-year-old son’s bedroom and they decided that it was time to have the talk with him by her husband taking him on a drive. It felt as if he were a rabid dog about to be put out of his misery. Parents the big production is not necessary!

In my opinion it is best to approach the talk by having a glass of wine beforehand so that you are nice and relaxed as possible. While you and the kid are alone I suggest just approaching the conversation as light hearted as possible and simply ask him/her if they’d thought about sex. This can be done while running errands, while eating pizza or even while lounging around the house doing nothing. The point is to make an already uncomfortable situation slightly more comfortable. One simple question will get the ball rolling, “Hey honey, have you thought about sex?” I know that it sounds kind of weird because it is a weird question coming from your parent, but it is an open question that will probably turn a few faces red, but once you get the conversation started your embarrassment will go away. Let them know that sex is a normal part of life and that while you don’t condone teenage sex you want to make sure that they are responsible.

The key word here is RESPONSIBILITY.

I am not condoning teenage sex, but I do condone RESPONSIBILITY and that means that if my kids are going to be sexually active they are going to be responsible. Yes we talk to them about STDs, teenage pregnancy, gaining a bad reputation or having their heartbroken, but by teaching them how to be responsible they can almost eliminate all of those problems.  What we wanted them to understand was that we understood what they were going through because we were not born adults and we went through the same feelings at one point. We want our children to understand that while it is uncomfortable we want them to come to us when they felt that they were ready to have sex. I would rather my children come to me than to learn from their friends.

I can’t police my teenager’s bodies because I cannot be around them 24/7 and I want to be comfortable in knowing that I taught my kids how to make their own decisions in life by making the right choices. We showed my son and daughter the proper way to open and put on a condom (bananas make for a great prop). We advised him on the proper method of flushing the used condom. My husband drilled into my son’s head that if a girl says no that means NO. My girls know about birth control and how no matter how much a guy tells you that he loves you those feeling can change after he gets what he wants and that babies have the magical ability to change minds almost immediately.

I remember getting a lot of criticism for putting my daughter on birth control at the age of thirteen, but six years later I am not a grandmother so I think that I made the right decision. Some said that by putting my daughter on birth control I was giving her permission to have sex. I said what a load of bullshit because these kids are going to have sex regardless if we put them on birth control or not. We were elated when our son came to us and told us that he and his girlfriend were thinking about having sex and asked if we could purchase him a package of condoms. No we were not happy that he was having sex and we told him that we didn't condone teenagers being sexually active, but we were happy that he trusted us enough to come to us when he was ready.

OMG TEENAGERS DO LISTEN!

Let’s be real, we cannot stop our teenagers from being sexually active any more than our parents did to stop us. Where there is a will

teenagers will find a way. I know it is a hard pill to swallow, but its best that you gulp real hard and get it out of the way. You will save yourself a whole lot of headache. Parents I implore you to talk to your kids like they are human beings and remember that you were once in the same place no matter how long ago.

Nothing Can Prepare You

Hello all, I’m back once again after a pretty lengthy hiatus from blogging and while I have missed you all I have learned that as write you have to actually life some sort of life in order to have something to write about!

 

Today's topic is: Nothing Can Prepare You

I remember when I was pregnant with my first born at the age of seventeen (yes I was a teen mom) I asked my mother how could I prepare for giving birth. I remember this moment pretty vividly because my mother had this look on her face that spoke volumes yet didn't say quite enough when she said, “Listen honey, can’t nothing prepare you for child birth.” Now you have to remember that from the age of fifteen to around twenty-one we all thought that we knew it all and that our parents were just trying to scare us, so I blew off her words and began to read every book that I could on the miracle of child birth. When my water broke and I finally got into the delivery room and the first real painful contraction hit me all of the breathing techniques and birthing positions that I’d read about flew right out of the window.

 Mom was right.

Nothing on Earth prepared me for giving birth.

Nineteen years later when I look at my gorgeous daughter I can honestly say that every moment of mind altering pain was worth it. I love her more than words can express, but while my mother warned me that nothing could prepare me for bringing a child into the world, she’d forgotten to let me know that nothing can prepare me to let that same child out into the world.

Nothing.  

Seeing my first born saunter across that stage was the most gratifying experience that I have ever felt having almost lost her thirteen years prior in a horrific car accident. During graduation there were a lot of tears that were shed, but none were more meaningful that those of my own. She did it even after all of her surgeons said that she wouldn't live, even after they said that she’d lose her arm, even after they said that she would be permanently brain damaged, she proved them all wrong. She did it. Not only did she walk across the stage, but she walked on time with her graduating class.

Proud mommy moment is putting it politely.

While I was prepared for graduation as well as the graduation party that followed soon after, what I wasn't prepared for was having an adult child. After enduring nine months of my teenage body going through changes that I didn't understand, after countless sleepless nights of teething, potty training, shoe tying, fussing and fighting over curfew and worry and exhaustion no one told me that letting go was the hardest part of raising children.

How do you let go of your baby?

Shortly after graduation my baby girl decided that she wanted to come from underneath mom’s wings and fly out in the world on her own.

I was not prepared.

After many attempts of trying to persuade her to stay home I tearfully watched as my baby packed her car and drive off into the sunset. Well, it was not actually the sunset; she decided to move in with her boyfriend against our wishes.

And like that she was gone.

How do you prepare for when you baby leaves home?

I went through the 5 stages of grief that I spoke about in a previous post:

1.       Denial – No she is not moving out, she is just trying to pull my bluff

2.       Anger—How could she move out after all that I have done for her all of these years!

3.       Bargaining—Hey daughter, if you move back home you can still have all of your freedom and I’ll increase your allowance.

4.       Depression—My baby is gone

5.       Acceptance—Well I've done all that I could do.

The day that my daughter moved out was the hardest day of my life and while nothing could have prepared me for, I can say that I understand. I remember moving out when I was her age and while I thought that I was an ‘adult’ I was only a kid and I was not prepared to live in the real world. The one thing that I was always grateful for was the fact that my parents gave me the tools that I needed to navigate throughout life and they allowed me the freedom to make my own choices and to live with the consequences of those choices.  

They allowed me to be me.

While I was not prepared for my daughter to move out I can say that I am confident in the knowledge and values that I have instilled into my daughter and that I prepared her for life. I will always be there for my daughter, but I have had to learn how to pull back from Smothering and just be there for her.

Now that she is in college and living life on her own my husband and I laugh at the things that she tells us because we remember being there and we are more than confident that she will be able to guide herself out and anytime that she needs Smothering she knows that our door is always open.

No, nothing could have prepared me for the moment when my little birdie left the nest, but I am glad that I was not prepared because no amount of words that I could have read or advise that I could have considered would have given me the feeling that my own experience did.

To my beautiful, talented and creative daughter always and forever I love you.

One down……five more to go!

Sex & The Aging Body: Getting it on When Your Getting Old

Hello all!
I know that it has been a while since I last posted and I think that excuses are nothing but greasy lies, so I will only say this: I promise to find the time to post more often and I'm sorry.
I know that it was not much, but at least it is a lot more than what most men say when they fuck up.

Before I get into the topic of today's blog I have exciting news! Finally after months of waiting, Son of a Preacher Man will be release this Friday, March 15th! I am very excited and I hope that you are too and that you will continue to support me on my literary journey.

Sex and the Aging Body

Getting it on when you are getting old

Okay, it happened! I never in a million years did I think that this could ever happen to a young, hip, modern and very flexible woman such as myself, but it happened. Yes, during a late night session my husband tossed me into a position that my rickety old body just could not accommodate.

Don't get me wrong, I tried. I attempted to hold on until my back nearly popped and my knees damn near gave out! Don't laugh, at least I have heart! I gave it my all too. Don't get me wrong it was not an amateur position, I think that Cosmo gave it a seven on their difficulty level; so we were dealing with some pretty professional level stuff. Then again, I'd been in this position more than enough then all of a sudden I turn thirty-six and my screams of oh shits in passion became OH SHITs of pain.

Kerri isn't off of the hook either. Where my tubby hubby use to be comparable to the Dirk Diggler of Greek mythology, he has lost some of his digging abilities (if you catch my drift). Don't get me wrong our sex is still top notch, but I have noticed that things are different just, different. 

One of my favorite shows was Sex in the City where you have four middle aged and older woman who not only had fabulous careers, sexy lovers and designer wardrobes, but who also had mind-blowing sex. I have always embraced the fact that I was going to be having steamy sex which lead to some of the most intense orgasms of my life; just like Samantha (Kim Cattrail) when I was in my 40s and 50s. But here I am mid thirties and already my body is starting to tell me that it things just aren't the same.

Don't get me wrong, my husband and I have been married for ten years and we still have lots of sex, but where our sex was once full of life and vigor it is now tired-yet-horny sex. Where we once use to do all sorts of things in the bed, we tend to stick to our three basic positions. No wait I take that back, he has recently added one that only requires one partner to be fully awake and lying in the spooning position. I call that the sneaky snake.

We are both in our thirties, we have a half dozen of children which includes a busy two year old who refuses to potty train, refuses to sleep, refuses to eat and just flat out refuses to do anything that would remotely make her parent's lives just five percent easier. My husband is a barber so he stands on his feet all day long then when he is finished with that he still has a family to tend to. I still work full-time not to mention I have my own publishing company and my own books to write, re-write, publish and promote then I too, have to deal with our children.

See in our twenties things were different because we just didn't care. Dishes in the sink? Who cares let's have sex. Laundry piling up? Who cares, let's have sex. Haven't slept in twenty four hours? Who cares let's just have sex. We had the energy to bend our bodies like Stretch Armstrong and pull an all nighter rolling around in the bed and could give a shit less about waking our neighbors. Now things are different.

I cannot bend and stretch as I once use to and you know what I'm not afraid to admit that there are times when he doesn't take me to the moon and I end up pulling out my litter silver astronaut to help out with the mission. I can admit there are even nights that I don't feel like the whole foreplay thing and I just want him to hurry it up so that I can finish a chapter or two and he can go back to playing whatever game it is that has his attention on his PlayStation.

Such is life.

But isn't sex supposed to be one of the most important things in a relationship? Isn't it supposed to be the thing that bonds a couple into eternal bliss? Isn't it?

Or are we just getting to old to be getting it on?

I think not. My husband and I are in our thirties and while we are very busy and preoccupied, we have to find the time to enjoy one another's bodies just as we did when we were in our twenties. We have to make it our mission to get homework done, housework done, work work done, kids hosed down and in the bed, teens out of sight and out of mind, TV off, bedroom door locked, candles lit, Maxwell playing and most importantly laptop and PlayStation turned off so that we can enjoy one another's bits and pieces.

Age has nothing to do with it, but our mind does. We are still very much attracted to one another and we still really want to have sex, but we have to find the time to actually have the sex that we've been thinking about all day and actually have sex.

We are in our thirties and dammit I am a long way away from white granny panties that come in packs rather than laid perfectly on a frilly table. We are decades away from coming to bed smelling like Ben-gay or wearing CPAP machines. We are years away from the little blue pills. We are also years away from Januari graduating and going away to wherever it is that she plans to go so we have to be creative, put our feet down and get it in.

I declare that I am not too old to get it on and I'm pulling out my sexy nighties and show my husband why he fell in love with me in the first place and I suggest that you thirty, forty and fifty somethings do the same! Take back your sexual powers and get it in!

TTYL

Introducing The Author of The Rozalyn Series: Myss Shan!

First things first, who is Shan? 
Shan is a very vibrant but quiet, smart, beautiful, mother, friend and author. Someone whom you would love to have in your corner. 

When did you begin your love affair with the written word?
I actually started writing in elementary school. I would write plays because it was much easier and it was also like therapy. I could always involve myself in the life of my characters just to escape mine. 

You have gained quite the following, tell me how does it feel to have gained so many followers to your work? 
Wow it feels great to have so many people looking for something that I wrote. It's a huge blessing and I could only pray that my fam base gets bigger and bigger.

What inspired you to begin a literary career?I actually was sitting in church listening to the pastor speak about having a gift and not using it and how it can be taken away if you don't do something with it. After hearing that I decided to look into publishing my first book. I used to only write for me, allow a couple of my friends to read it but I never once considered publishing until that day in church. 

You have not one, not two, but three highly acclaimed novels, how has all of this success changed you? 
Well I'm still just the same old Shan. I am just glad to be able to do so well in such a harsh game. It's very hard to get your foot in the door being a newbie and I'm thankful that many have taken a chance on me. I will always remain humble and just look forward to what my future holds.


You have put out three five star bangers in a short time, you are also a parent, dang girl do you have time to breathe? Yes, I am a single mother of three, I work, and I write in my spare time. I get about 3-4 hours of sleep a night so that's the only time I get to breathe. It's all worth it because I want the best for my children. Nothing less. 

In your book, Rozalyn, the title character has her head in the clouds, as most teenagers do, but unlike many teenagers Rozalyn is forced to grow up fast. I know that some times when a girl doesn't have the love from her father, she tends to jump into relationships with the wrong type of men because she is seeking the love that her father never gave her. Why do you think many girls fall into this type of habit? 
You hit that right on the nail. Girls long for the love of their fathers and when they don't get it, they look for the next best thing. The other sex. From experience I know how easy it is to get caught up with the bad guys and grow up faster than you may have wanted to. A lot of it is watching your peers and doing the same things they are doing in fear of being left out. Sometimes it may be watching your mother and copying what she's doing. If you watch her being abused, you may think that it's okay for you to accept the same from the guy you meet. Back in the day the whole community got involved in raising kids. It was hard to get away with anything cause you always had a neighbor somewhere watching and waiting for you to do something wrong so they can tell on you. (Lol) In today's world kids are practically raising themselves and just making it the best way they know how. 

Your books have received lots of very good reviews, but they have also received a few not so good reviews. As a professional author how do you handle the not so favorable reviews? I read over all my reviews, the good and the bad. Even the ones that are bad I still look at them and just take it in. Is there something that can be learned from it? Do they have a valid opinion? I also have to remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion and that everyone will not like your work. No matter how many five star reviews I may receive there always be a few that just hated it and I can respect that. 

Years ago I remember sending out query letters to several literary agents and publishing houses only to feel the sting of rejection. After being rejected so many times, I put my pen down for several years until I ran across an article about self-publishing and that began my journey to put out my first novel, Skeletons. Why did you decided to self-publish your novels and how has self-publishing changed the literary world? Well the first one was through a publishing company but the others are self published. I decided to do that because I felt I needed to have control over my work. Creative control, ability to be able control the price, really everything. This whole self publishing world has opened up the doors for so many authors whom you've probably would've never heard of before KDP, Pubit, etc. It has given voices to so many, but at the same time I believe that Urban Fiction still has a long way to go. 

Last question, what is next for Shan? Well I have Rozalyn 3 coming very soon. I also signed a deal with SBR Publications(Team Bankroll squad) and my first book of a series with them is titled Hated by Many, Loved by None set to be released in November. After that I'm going to look into some other things that should be very beneficial to my career. I'm just working non-stop over here.

You can find Myss Shan's books at Amazon and Barnes & Noble 

You can connect with Myss Shan via 

Twitter: myss_shan

Fbook: http://www.facebook.com/author.shan

Thank you for your reading!

SON OF A PREACHER MAN

Hello all an am giddy as a naughty school girl underneath the bleachers at a field hockey game because....wait for it....wait for it....SON OF A PREACHER MAN WILL BE RELEASED ON NOVEMBER 27th!!

I am more than excited not only because I am releasing my second novel but also because my ultra cool beta readers are loving SPM and they can't wait until it drops!

I have so much work to do in the meantime but the one thing that I'm most excited about is my book release party! Not only am I having a book release party at my favorite art studio Jacoby Art Studio in my hometown of Alton Illinois but I am also hosting another release party for my lovely co-workers at Magellan HealthCare!

My street rearm is getting geared up to jot the malls to promote and sell both Skeletons and Son Of A Preacher Man and my very own human blow horn husband Kerri is ready to tell everyone that he sees about my book.

This is such an exciting month for me but it is also a very busy month too. With that being said I will not tend to my blog happy about relationship issues but what I will be doing is supporting fellow authors by posting interviews that I have conducted with them so stay tuned!

TTFN

The Myth Of The 50/50 Relationship

The Myth of The 50/50 Relationship

 

 

Let's talk math.

1 +1=2

10 /2=5

50% of 100= 50

 

I hate math party because I never really got it. My creative brain doesn't like the finality of math. I like to Play around with words make this mean that then turn all around and make that mean this. In my mind two plus two equals six because mom plus dad equal six kids. The thing that I love about math is the same thing that I hate about it...in math there are no grey areas. No matter how my little brain wants to bend, stretch and twist it 2 +2 will always equal four.

The only grey area in any math equation is when you come to relationships. I hear plenty of women and men saying that they want a relationship that is 50/50. In other words we desire complete equality in our relationship and I say that the 50/50 relationship is a myth. I would have a better chance of Brad Pitt reciting me meaningless poetry than I do with finding a relationship that is truly 50/50. I'd run the risk of running into a quadracorn before I found a relationship where both parties contributed EXACTLY fifty percent.

The truth of the matter is that no relationship is 50/50 because one person will always contribute more to the run of the relationship that the other. For example, in the 21st century many woman have full-time careers outside of the home and because of the way the economy is many men have lost their jobs becoming stay at home dads. There is nothing wrong with that, but here is where the math come in.

The woman is already contributing 50% by just going to work but let's factor in when she gets home she still has to deal with the kids (10%), housework that only she can handle (5%) and spousal time (10%) now she is up to 75% and he is at 65%. This equation also works when the man works and the woman stays at home.
In cases where both parties work outside of the home they start out at an equal 50% each but someone has to cook dinner (10%), walk Spot (10%), help with homework (20%), clean (10%) and the list goes on and on leaving the scale slightly unbalanced.
Don't freak out yet! There is nothing wrong with your relationship is slightly unbalanced (note that I put emphasis on the word slightly) that does not mean that your relationship is doomed. It is possible to have balance in an unbalanced relationship. I know that sounds strange but hear me out. I am a believer of each person in the relationship using his or her strengths to help make the relationship stronger and to help the family run smoother. For example if she is a wiz at getting the kids in and out the shower in less than 30 minutes while he is a master in the kitchen then utilize those strengths to the best of your ability. If he keeps the house tidy while she is better at handspring the household finances then so be it.
What I'm saying is find the balance that works for you and if the scale tips slightly then so what. If it works it works!
The only time that this equation does not work is when the scales have been tipped too far on one side. That is when you find your equation more 80/20 or 90/10 and one party is taking on allot the entirety of the relationship and of the household. When you find yourself in this predicament you need to speak with your partner to find a suitable solution to the problem.
I'm all for equality in a relationship but do not strive too hard for things to be 50/50 because not all of the time does the math have to add up.
TTYL

The Glamorous Life of An Author

I am excited that no longer am I a writer who is on a journey to become an author because now I AM an author.
I am THE author of Skeletons and now I am pleased to announce that I am the author of my second book, Son Of A Preacher Man which will be released this fall.
I like to think of myself as a humble person, when people give me kudos about writing Skeletons I look at them like, "oh you are talking about me?" because a writer is who I am or as Lady Gaga says, I was born this way. So when people say, "OMG you wrote a book!" or "OMG Skeletons was soooo good!" I don't think of it as a big deal because I didn't do anything special to write it, I just sat down and wrote. That's it.
But now I have to admit it, I am no longer just Shimeka, nope, I am the Author Shimeka McFadden.

Funny thing is when I think of an author I think of Carrie Bradshaw sitting in her apartment in Manhattan dressed in a pair of Christian Dior cut offs, Alexander McQueen t-shirt tied in a knot at her waist while typing on the latest Mac book Air while drinking a Mimosa. I thought that being an author was glitz and glamor instead it is the exact opposite.
In reality authors are D-list celebrities at best unless you are Stephen King, James Patterson or one of J.K. Rowling and even then when you see them they are a far cry from glamorous. When I sit down to write, I'm either sitting on my bed with a cup of Kool-Aid and a kid by my side with my husband screaming at whatever sport that is in season. Dressed in my last pair of clean yoga pants and a stretched out tank top and my glasses I pound away at the keyboard creating fictional worlds in which my characters are more glamorous than I.

Alton isn't Manhattan, but I am an author.

The only designer in my closet are a pair of Michael Kors jeans that I can no longer fit, yet I am an author.

My husband isn't Big, but I am an author.

My afternoons aren't spent sitting on the patio of a fancy restaurant talking to my friends, yet I am still an author.



So the next time someone makes a big deal about my books, I am going to make a big deal out of it too because I have always been a writer, but it took guts to become an author and that is something to be proud of.

Now without further adieu, I bring you Son of A Preacher Man coming Fall of 2012



Author of The Bliss, Playground and Poison Series K.D. Harris

First, who is K.D. Harris?

K.D Harris is a mother of two lovely girls, an avid reader, radio host and writer; from little old Delaware.

　

My love affair with books began at an early age, can you remember the first book that you read that sparked your interest in the written word?

I remember reading those little Golden books as early as yeas four years old; I was twelve when the thought of writing came about. I was in the seventh grade and V.C Andrews’s books were floating from class to class. I was reading Judy Blume, ad R.L Stein at that time. One day my best friend gave me, ‘If There Be Thorns” the first book in the Flowers in the Attic series-I was hooked. It was then when I decided if I would ever become a write I would want to be the black V.C Andrews.

Who are some of your favorite authors?

V.C Andrews, T. Styles/Reign, Anne Rice and a few others.

　

Many authors that I have interviewed have told me some of the things that inspired them to begin writing, what are you inspired by?

My children.

　

The literary world can be just as much of a cut-throat industry as music and film. What are some of the most surprising things about that literary world?

The amount of authors that lack the knowledge of basic creative writing and marketing/branding surprised me. They are the key elements to become a successful author.

　

K.D. you have been in the literary game a little bit longer than I have, what are some things that you would have liked for an veteran author to have told you when you first started out?

I was blessed, Toy (T.Styles) pretty much groomed me as an author. I knew the importance of branding, touring, and honing your craft. Michele A. Fletcher, my current publisher, she has taught me the publishing business in a whole marketing, sale, and distribution, everything that I lacked-she developed.

Self-publishing is blowing up the literary world, with successes stories such as Treasure Blue, K'Wan, Shan and T Styles. How has self-publishing changed the book game?

I think it’s beautiful if you have the right knowledge and capital to do it correctly.

Tell my readers about your Bliss Series?

Bliss is my baby; this is the first novel I ever penned. Poison was my fist published novel. My readers have deemed Bliss, as a psycho-sexual thriller. I totally went to the left with this series. I call writing factual fiction-so real you’ll think I’m writing about you. Bliss deals with REAL situations that people like to hide under the rug. I love-love-love this series!

　

After releaseing Skeletons, many of my readers wanted me to release a part two to the book. While I am not planning to release Skeletons part 2, I do see many authors, such as yourself, who do release subsequent titles to their books. What determines rather or not you write a series?

I pretty much let my readers decide. If I get an overwhelming response and people want more; if I can add more and keep as exciting as the first-I will.

　

Tell the readers a little bit about Playground.

Playground is a book that I did with Model Bubbles. She is a video vixen and has been featured in a few men and Hip Hop magazines. This book is based on two females who come from two separate walks of life but end up in the same place, the strip club.

　

Anthologies are becoming pretty popular amongst authors and readers alike, have you ever written or would you ever consider writing an anthology with other authors?

Working with another author was interesting…would I do it again-uh I doubt it. I never say never, just not right now.

　

Social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter have helped create buzz about many authors, but as I'm sure that you are aware of these same sites can cause an authors downfall. What is your take on social media and the literary world?

I think you should use it as a marketing tool-don’t let it be your sole source of marketing.

　

Lastly, what is next for K.D. Harris?

At the time I am adding the finishing touches to my novel, The Other Side. I have Dyck Dizzy, Playground and a surprise novel coming early 2013.

Also, I currently have a Blog talk radio show called Factual Fiction with K.D Harris, I am also working with my daughter on her first book under my company Posh Literary Group.

I would like to say thank you to K.D. Harris for her interview. You can find her books on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and on her website.

You can connect with K.D. Harris on the following sites:
www.iamkdharris.com
www.lffpublishing.com
Twitter: @kdharris
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/KDXTREME
Blog Talk Radio Factual Fiction: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/search/factual-fiction-/


TTYL

Author of The Write Way To Love, Kisha Green

 

First thing first, who is Kisha Green?

Kisha is a mother,sister,aunt,friend, publisher,writer,promoter, book reviewer, online radio hostess and reality tv junkie lol

When did you begin your love affair with the written word?

 

I've always kept a journal since I was 11 and my entries always read like stories.

I can remember the first time I tried my hand at writing, I wrote a short story about a woman who lost her son in a botched robbery, I think that I was about 14 at the time. Can you remember the first time your pen hit the paper and you began to write?

 

At age 11 and the story was about what my life would be if I was rich and famous with long hair like Rapunzel.

Eric Jerome Dickey, Mary Monroe and even Judith Michaels inspired me to write more and to write better. Who are some of your favorite authors who inspired you?

 

Mary Higgins Clark and Jackie Collins. They both have a unique gift of storytelling that inspired me to take my writing seriously.

You have children, and with children it is oftentimes hard to get a free moment to breathe let a lone to pen an entire book. How do you juggle being a parent and an author?

 

I'm a mother of four and time management is very hard but my family comes first. I used to have it backwards thinking I had to be this best selling author and everyone has to know my name and my family could wait but now my attitude is the work can wait because without the love and support of my family I am nothing.

You are self-published, how do you think that self-publishing has changed the literary world?

 

It has allowed a lot of people to take their literary fate into their own hands. Self publishing is a real commitment that takes real hard work and dedication,so it has to be respected as such.

I know that I cringe every time I see a poorly designed book cover or an author responding in a less than professional manner to a book review. What are some of the things in the literary world that grinds your gears?

 

Bad covers and bad editing. Your book like your child is a DIRECT representation of you. So in publishing you must put your best literary foot forward.

A Write Way to Love is a short story that is about a woman who is trying to follow her dreams to become an author, but she does not have the support from her less than faithful husband. How important is it that your life partner support you in your dreams?

 

Very important because if you do not have your partners support you won't be able to produce the best product because you won't be able to solely focus knowing the project isn't supported by the person you love.

Tell me about your title, Fefe’s Freaky Tale?

 

It is my Erotic Flash Fiction short story about Feona "FeFe" Walker a woman who has only one thing on her mind - pleasure. Before her love can come down, she must select a man to quench her body's insatiable appetite. NOTHING is off limits in her quest for pure sexual ecstasy. It is a very sexually charged short story.

Tell us about your 2009 book, And Even If I Did?

 

And Even If I Did tells a story of friendship and betrayal amongst three friends all on the road to self discovery but ultimately the girls learn the lifetime lesson that everyone wants to be a friend but many aren't truly capable of actually being one.

This book has a happy ending which is something that we aren’t use to in a lot of Urban literature. Do you feel that urban authors have embraced the tragic endings?

 

I think a lot of authors stick to the formula of drama sells so they tend to give readers drama but for me I enjoy happy endings so I try to implement something positive in my endings. There's a lot of negativity already here on the earth so why not write something different.

You are very vocal on your Facebook and Twitter feed; how do you think that social media has helped you as an author?

 

It is indeed a blessing. I'm able to reach so many and daily I grow my readership and clientele. I'm truly blessed to be able to incorporate social media into my daily life that makes it financially beneficial for me and my family.

Last question, what is next for Kisha Green?

 

The sky is truly the limit. I will continue to expand my brand while creating a legacy for my children.

Thank you for your responses…where can readers find your books?

 

My books can be purchased from my website (www.divabooksinconline.com), Amazon and BN.com

　

You can connect with Kisha Green on one of the following soical media outlets:

Facebook- www.facebook.com/1KishaGreen

Twitter- @KishaGreen @LiteraryJewels2

Blog- www.literary-jewels.com

Website- www.divabooksinconline.com

Catch Me If I Fall, But Don't Hold Me While I Lean : The Power of A Support System

Hello! Today is Skeletons' first birthday! I can't believe that it has been an entire year since I published my first book and I'm still excited about it! I want to thank each and everyone who took the time out of your busy day and took the chance on my first novel! Rather you loved it or hated it, it feels good being able to say that my book has been read by thousands of people all over America and even in Europe and Canada!
So take a moment and say a silent happy birthday to my very first baby today!

My husband and I spent our weekend shopping for my 18 year-old daughter, Ta'Keyha's last and my 15 year old son Asa's first Homecoming dance. The four little ones keep us so busy that we hardly get to spend any time with the first two alone so we took them shopping by themselves and I am proud to say that we actually had a great time. My teenagers are so funny and interesting that we really enjoy connecting with them without the interruptions that oftentimes come with children under the age of 13. It is hard giving each kid their own individual time since we have so many of them, but we do try to make things work the best that we can then at 9:00 it is my husband and my time to do our own thing then watch television together and reconnect as husband and wife.

Since today is the 1st birthday of Skeletons I think back to when I was writing it and publishing and I wouldn't have been able to get any of that done without my support system. That is what today's blog topic will focus on.

Catch Me If I Fall, But Don't Hold Me While I Lean 

In anything that we do in life we all need some type of support system. Rather it is writing a book, going back to school to get your degree, raising a family or simply getting through life. Without a trusted support system some of us wouldn't even be able to get out of bed in the morning. I pride myself on not having a ton of close friends in my life. Not because I am an anti-social person, but because I am confident that the few people that I put in my inner circle are not only there for a reason, but also because I value them and trust them with the most private details of my life. 

A support system can be anyone from your parents to your best friend to your spouse or even your neighbor who watches the kids while you stay up late typing that ten page paper that you've been putting off for one day too long. A support system can be any where from one person to twenty people that you trust because the main job of a support system is that you can count on them. 

I remember when I started writing Skeletons, my husband would get off of work and take the kids to the park so that I could have an hour or two to myself to be able to write without interruptions. Since Januari was still a baby when I was writing my book my mother and father and law would step in and take the baby for me while I worked. My little sister would allow Javier and Boston to come to her house to play with her son, Kamron. My friends Janita, Jillian, Chevon, Rachel and Artura supported me by being there to listen to me go on and on about the process of writing and publishing a book and sometimes they would give me good advice. 

I love my support system! 

While I cherish my support system with all of my heart, I have to remember that they are there to support me, but they are not there to be a crutch for me. Sometimes when a person knows that they have a great support system they begin to take advantage of that support and instead of catching them if and when they fall they begin to use the support system to hold them up while they lean. 

And lean. 

And lean. 

And lean

Pretty soon the support system is no longer there for support, but they are there to coddle and pacify the leaner instead of pushing the leaner back up they allow them to just lean. See a support system exists to help you grow, but if they are only holding you up while you stay stagnant then what is the point? 

Lean on me when you're not strong

I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

That I'm going to need somebody to lean on

The Bill Withers song about friendship isn't about carrying your friend, but it is about helping your friend to carry on. He said lean on me when you're not strong not lean on me when you are able. He said I'll help you carry on not I'll help you make excuses for not carrying on. 

 Lets face it we need a support system just to make it through the regular stuff of the day let alone to be able to follow our dreams. 

There are wives out there who do not have the support of their husbands while they follow their dreams. There are children out there who do not have the support of their parents while they try out for the basketball team. There are men who do not have the support of their women while they go to work then come home to take online courses to earn their degree.

Remember, if you have a support system consider yourself lucky, but don't use your support as a crutch to be able to just lean because soon your support might just walk away you then you may fall. 

TTYL 

Author of Touch, Jaded and The Newly Released Title High Rollers...Ms. Envy Red!

Hello all, I hope that you enjoyed your lazy Labor Day weekend, I know that I did. I am so excited to have had the opportunity to interview the very talented and very busy author and savvy business woman, Envy Red that I want to skip any commentary by me and bring you the interview.

Introducing Envy Red

 

 

 

 First, who is Envy Red?

Wow! Who isn’t Envy Red is the question that runs through my mind. I wear so many hats yet I’m firmly grounded in who I am. I am a mother, friend, daughter, writer, entrepreneur and the laundry list goes on. However, in all that I am, I pray that being a blessing to others tops the list.

 Envy you are a phenomenal woman, you are not only a up and coming author, a mother a philanthropist, and a board member of Homebound Citizens, but you are also a cancer survivor. How do you manage it all?

I’m still trying to figure it out. I just put my goals in front of me with each project and push everyday. I’m learning to manage my time a lot wiser but the hours still float away. Time waits for no one. I really take head to that.

I think that before an authors puts her pen to a pad she has to read, who are some of your favorite authors?

Oh wow this puts me on the spot lady because if I forget someone it may start a mini war. Can I give a disclaimer first? Ok here it goes. If I forget to mention some of my favorites charge it to my head and not my heart. Lets get some of the biggies out of the way first. Stephen King, Zora Neale Hurston, JD Mason, and Eric Jerome Dickey. I have recently discovered a new breed of fire starters in Fabiola Joseph, Treasure Blue, Joe Awsum and I can’t forget my triplets in lit Rahiem Brooks and Kristofer Clarke.

In my opinion great authors are not made, but they are born with the gift to construct whole new worlds that inhabit people and to create situations for those people to get into and try get out of. With that being said what inspired you to begin writing?

I have always had a strong love for literature. I was known to carry a book around with me everywhere as a child. My teachers encouraged me to write from as far back as I could remember. However, I took what I was told was the “safe” route and went to business school and when on to graduate school. It was not until after my mother had a stroke and I watched her sit at the computer every day writing her book, that I got the courage to pen my own story. I was diagnosed with cancer during that journey and it further pushed me to complete my first project.

Like myself, you are a self-published author, how do you feel that self-publishing has changed the literary world and what made you choose to self publish?

Self publishing has made it easier for aspiring authors to realize their dreams without the increased pressure of rejection by the majors. Personally, I never shopped myself to a mainstream publisher because I wanted to learn the business for myself first rather than have it fed to me. That was just my personal need.

You are fairly new to the game, what are some of the most surprising things about the literary world that you have experienced?

LOL do you really want to know? Well my most shocking revelation was how much time and energy is really needed to market a book regardless of how good it is. It also shocked me to see how many crooks were in the literary world. You know the ones who get your books and don’t pay. We all know a few of those but you learn quick. This is the only business I know that operates backwards in that way outside of a true consignment shop. With those you can usually walk in and just take ownership back of your property. In this game you lose a lot of money if you are not smart and conscious about who you trust.

I am a mother of six children, oftentimes people ask me how I actually wrote and published a book with kids. Do you think that motherhood made it a little harder to finish your books or was the fact that you have a children looking up to you made your motivation stronger?

Personally, my kids made me stronger. Knowing I am that role model to them gave me that added fuel to press on.

I have heard nothing but great things about your books Touch and Jaded, can you tell my readers something about those books?

Touch was my first-born. I was able to play with sexuality and literature in a way that a diverse group of people could read and enjoy. It’s considered erotica but the characters go through so much that the pages reveal more than just mind blowing sex. With Jaded I was able to reel you in and really touch on heavy subject matter. I took a totally different approach with this book and I have to admit I wasn’t the least bit worried about changing genres. It’s a psychological thriller and let’s you tap into my love for the mental psyche. It peaks my interest like no other. I consider myself an envelope pusher and I think I do that with both titles.

Touch, touched on the secret society of swinging, what prompted you to involve your characters in that society?

It was different. It’s one of those subjects that I’m sure a lot of people secretly wonder about and this was my chance to give it to them in story form. It was a fantasy ride

My mother lives with a mental illness which I touched on in a previous blog; in your second book, Jaded, your main character has a mental illness and as you know in the African American community we tend to shy away from that topic. What prompted you to write about such a touchy and often hush-hush topic?

The fact that in the black community so many of our people go undiagnosed because of old traditions and our failure to accept mental illness as an affliction that we too suffer from. The story came to me. I swear it was God because i had zero difficulty when writing that book. It just flowed. I had to step away from it quite a bit because it was an emotional ride but one that needed to be exposed.

Tell me about your latest book, High Rollers?

High Rollers allows me to merge my love for roller skating with my love for writing. It’s about a Vietnam Vet who comes home only to inherit two businesses. One happens to be a rink which his friend convinces him to use for a far more sinister operation. That operation is human trafficking from America to Brazil. I absolutely feel as one with this new set of characters. Each has qualities that most of us can relate to in one form or another.

I noticed that you have a passion for roller skating; how long have you been skating?

I have been skating for a few years. I fell into it accidentally after finding myself at a national skate party. I fell in love instantly. I have been hooked ever since

What is next for Envy Red?

The sky has no limits and all I can say is Drama Baby! I am pouring my all into this store. I recently signed my lease and I’m getting the inside prepared for opening next month. I am shooting for 9/22. It is a children’s bookstore, select adult fiction, and kiddie accessory boutique. It will also have two spacious private rooms for baby showers and events. I’m embarking on a journey called “Open Book” as well. I am the co-host of this hot new show as well as working on a networking site called Author’s Info which has been rolled out already. I will also be starting my next title early next month
God willing.

Thank you for your candid interview you are truly an amazing woman who is ain inspiration to many.

You can find Envy Red's books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

If you want to give a shout out to Ms. Red you can reach her on the following social networking sites:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/EnvyRed
Twitter: @EnvyRed
 

This Weeks Featured Reader: Carla Towns

Good morning, afternoon or evening depending upon when you are tuning into my blog! Today was the first day that my kids went back to school and this year is extra exciting because it is my eldest daughter, Takeyha's senior year of high school, my son Asa's freshman year of high school and also Boston's first year of school period! This morning was a flurry of people fighting for their alloted fifteen minutes of bathroom time, complainging about who had whose who-knows-what and why, wondering who was getting a ride verses who was walking or riding the bus to school and why they had to eat this or that for lunch! As crazy as my house may seem to some of you, the one thing that it is not is disorganized.
When you have a large family space is limited, time for each is limited, but the one thing that we cherish more than those two every important aspects of life is our ability to be properly prepaired and organized. The lunches were packed, the school clothes were ironed and sat out, the book bags were packed and arranged, five pair of socks were tucked away in five pair of shoes and sat by the door and showers were taken THE NIGHT BEFORE. That proper preparation ensured that admist our cahos we were organized. I shed a tear watching the teenagers walk to their bus stop, watching the pre-teen jump out of the car and walk into her school and leaving Javier and Boston after meeting their teachers. The ride home was quiet, as my husband and I breathed a sigh of relief and exhaustion, but our hearts were big with the love that we have for our kids and the amazement that we once again pulled it off without a hitch.

Introducing Avid Reader Carla Towns

As you may have noticed, I have been interviewing different authors on my blog and while it is always exciting to know what some of my fellow authors are up to I also wanted to give my readers a chance to get to know some of the people who read what we write. So today's blog is dedicated to avid reader, Carla Towns.

Let’s start with the boring but necessary questions first, who is Carla Towns? Is she an author or is she just an average everyday woman who enjoys reading as much as I do?

I'm certainly just an average, everyday , 25 year old woman, who just so happens to be an avid reader. lol. Reading has always been a passion of mine since childhood. I couldn't imagine not being able to curl up with a good book. I definitely think writing is in my future but it has to be right. Timing is everything and if I'm going to do it, it has to be done the right way. No half stepping.

I can remember the first book that I read and understood which was Amelia Bedelia in the third grade and from then on I was hooked to the written word. Can you recall one of the first books that you read and what made you fall in love with the written word?

I was a huge R.L Stein fan growing up. The Goosebumps and Fear Street series were my absolute favorites. Back then you couldn’t tell me nothing lol. Even though it meant I was scared to death when it came time to go to bed.

You are a very active participant in your Facebook book club, Black Faithful Sisters & Brothers Bookclub. What made you be a part of an online book club and are you a member of a traditional book club?

Zaneta Powell is the creator of Black Faithful Sisters and Brothers Bookclub. She started the group in June of 2011. Back then it was just myself, Zaneta, Sandy Barrett Sims, Gabrielle Dotson, and Shaniyah (or the Fab 5 as we refer to ourselves lol) along with authors Mimi Renee and Cha’ Bella Don, in the group but we kept it fun and interesting. Flash forward to today and we are still going strong. It’s definitely more than a bookclub, it’s a family. We encourage one another, we interact daily, authors come through and interact and we just try to be as informative and up-to-date as possible. Teamwork definitely makes the dream work and we love each and every one of the members. I’m not currently in a traditional book club.

Why are book clubs so popular?

 Book clubs not only give readers a chance to interact with other readers who share a similar passion for reading, they also give you a chance to discuss books, find some great, new reads and discover new authors.

What type of books do you enjoy the most?

 I love reading period. Urban fiction, horror, fantasy/ adventure are some of my favorite.

Who are some of your favorite authors?

Wow, Shimeka are you sure we have the time lol. I’ll just name a few. T. Styles, Ashley and JaQuavis, Takerra Allen, Traci Bee, Clever Black, Shan Richardson, Mimi Renee, Queen Brown, Nene Capri…this list could go on for a while lol.


What is the one thing that you find authors doing that annoys you the most?

Some of the older authors are really slacking.Not all of them but some. I mean with these brand new authors on the scene like Joe Awsum, Sa'id Salaam ,Jackie Chanel, Fabiola Joseph...the more established authors should be coming with the hotness. Instead, I'm finding that some of them are starting to release books just for the sake of releasing a book.At the end of the day, you're only as hot as your last book. These newer authors are definitely giving them a run for their money, if I do say so myself


There are three things that draw me to purchase a book from an author that I’d never read before: the book cover, the synopsis and the reviews. What factors do you consider when purchasing a book?

There are three things that draw me to purchase a book from an author that I’d never read before: the book cover, the synopsis and the reviews. What factors do you consider when purchasing a book? Most definitely the synopsis first then the book cover. I don’t usually pay attention to reviews beforehand because what one person may hate, I may love and vice versa. However, if I see a book has 27 one star reviews and nothing else then I skip right on over that lol.


You are an avid reader who often posts reviews on Amazon what makes you give a book a one star review?

 I rarely give a book a one star review. I know authors put a lot of time and effort into their books and I have to put myself into their shoes. However, a couple of books I've read did warrant a one star. Editing is major for me. A few mistakes here and there don't bother me but when I am struggling to understand what is written or the story constantly goes from 3rd person POV to 1st person, that's when I have a problem. Other than that: lack of storyline, taking too long to get to the point, unbelievable or under developed characters, and confusing story lines are some of the factors that affect my review.

 From risqué book covers to graphic sexual content, do you think that authors are using sex to sell their books?

I don't want to say all authors are using sex to sell because that's not the case but it does happen. Whether it's a scantily clad model on the front cover of the book or a chapter full of hot, sweaty lovemaking, sex is definitely there.I just don't think that's the main focus in all cases . Now erotica sure lol.

Last question, many authors choose to self-publish their books, such as myself, do you think that is a good thing or a bad thing and why? How has self-published authors changed the literary world?

I think the option to self publish is great. I've heard soooo many horror stories about people being lied to and deceived when it comes to their book being published and sold. Self publishing has allowed authors to be in total control of their book. From the cover to the release date to the price...authors have taken back control. They get to be there for the complete journey. From the writing process to the bookshelf.

 Thank you Carla for your candid interview!